So we pick up an hour after we were in the car with Ted and Lily, which means that they had a fight and Lily got on some non-existent Long Island bullet train to get to this hotel. Seriously. Getting to the Hamptons from NYC does not take an hour. Particularly driving under speed limit or taking the train that stops at every little weird town out there. The two are at the front desk talking to Curtis (Roger Bart), who feels sorry for pathetically single Ted and suggests that he stay in a motel instead of this lovely romantic resort. I take issue with this since I would presume that Ted (as the best man) is part of some wedding room booking package and should be treated somewhat decently. Maybe even with a welcome bag in his room or something. Lily is treated nicer, until she flips out when she finds out Marshall is delayed. She heads to the bar and gets hooked up with the Kennedy package, which means she'll never be without a drink in her hand.
Marshall calls Barney about the problems with the flight. Barney insists that the normally nice Minnesotan should bring out his angry New Yorker and take down Sherri Shepherd for that seat, because it is a holiday weekend and seats are hard to come by. So my rant in the first episode about this being on a Sunday night is made even worse, because of the reminder that this is a holiday weekend. So now you have Monday off, but tickets and hotels are significantly more expensive and airports are more crowded and you lose a rare three-day weekend in order to stay in a hotel in Farhampton where the guy at the front desk is going to be a dick to you unless you are in a happy couple. Can I sign up for the Kennedy package to help calm my aggravation?
And it turns out that it doesn't matter if Marshall is nice, because all the flights (including the one that is leaving two minutes after the one they were supposed to be on) have been cancelled because of an incoming storm (mind you that when we see outside the airport later no one is even wearing jackets and it is sunny out). So he and Sherri Shepherd race to rent a car. She throws his luggage to delay him, but thanks to his prayer for a miracle he gets the last car and she's out of luck. But there are no baby seats left in the place, so Sherri Shepherd offers to take the gas-guzzling Monstrosity, that hurts Marshall's environmental loving soul, to go to the store to get a car seat and then they can drive together. It seems like she's taken off with the car, and the money, but she does return eventually demanding that she controls the music and he pays for the sure to be ridiculous gas bill.
Barney is telling his friends (and his brother James) about the Stinson curse, where in 1807 he and James were in a carriage in Russia that ran over a gypsy lady and she made them perpetually horny and unable to stay in a committed relationship. He says that James is the one that broke that curse by getting married to Tom, and it is even their anniversary on Sunday as well. But when Barney walks away James reveals that he's getting a divorce. Robin offers up her "gay at weddings" cousin if he'll keep his mouth shut, but a drunk Lily spills the beans. Barney handles it well, though he does take off to deal with the surprise life-size naked marzipan sculpture that he had made of Tom and James. These erotic cakes led to the only line that has made me laugh in two episodes, "Would it be alright if I nibbled on your brother's ding-dong?" So that's something. And about the only thing.
Then we see Ted wistfully talking about how he won't always be single to James, and then doing a crossword puzzle alone. And we see The Mother sitting next to him, but it is FutureMother, who is there with FutureTed. They are at the hotel a year later to celebrate the weekend that they met. It's ridiculously sappy, but at least we get to see Ted and The Mother together after all these years.