Robin and Barney agree to have the "stupid talk," but don't even know how to begin, so Lily slides a piece of paper under the door that reads, "Where do you see this relationship going?" They laugh at the cheesiness of that line, but then Robin wants an earnest answer. Harkening back to his mockery earlier in the episode, Barney says (straight, this time), "I don't know. It's not like I don't like you. I just haven't had a girlfriend for a long time. I hope that doesn't make you mad." It doesn't, Robin feels the same way. She adds, "I suck at relationships, I mean, except with Ted." Her face comes over all wistful. "Man, he really got it right. I know it's a cliché, but he really ruined me for other men." Saget!Ted breaks in. "Of course, I wasn't in the room for this conversation, but I have to imagine Robin said something like that." Of course you do, sweetie. They mull over the possibilities. Barney says, "Friends isn't going to work.... We're no good at being in a relationship. What are we good at?" Robin has just the thing. No, not sex, but don't feel bad, Barney made the same assumption. They're great at lying. They lied all summer. They can lie their way out of this predicament and bedroom, right now.
Out in the living room, Lily stands at the bedroom door and Ted sits by watching as Marshall plays with his whip. Lily retrieves the paper that Barney and Robin have just slid under the door, reads it, and smiles. "Really?" She holds it up for Marshall to see. It reads, "Boyfriend and Girlfriend." Barney and Robin embellish their lie...
ROBIN: Really. We sat down. We had the talk. Barney's my boyfriend now.
BARNEY: And Robin's my girlfriend. I know it sounds nuts, but it feels good to say.
ROBIN: We're both afraid of commitment, but the fact is, we also can't live without each other. (Robin turns away from the door and toward Barney.)
BARNEY: And if the alternative is not being together, then it's worth taking this risk, 'cause... (Barney looks down at Robin. His voice changes. He's not lying, now.) ...She's awesome.
ROBIN: And he's awesome. (She fingers his lapels.) He looks nice in a suit.
BARNEY: She can handle her Scotch.
ROBIN: He's my boyfriend.
BARNEY: And she's my girlfriend.
Lily opens the door, and frees the prisoners from Gitmo. She hugs them, and doesn't notice that Robin looks more annoyed than friendly (and who can blame her -- I would have knocked Lily over on my way to the bathroom, then knocked her out when I got back). Marshall's still in the moment. He cracks the whip and yells, "GOOD ENOUGH!"