Ted and Zoey make a Valentine's Day date: a home-cooked meal at his place. Then Zoey tells him she's so excited for this first Valentine's Day, which they'll remember for years. At MacLaren's, he fills Robin in and she says this is too much pressure and she's freaking out just listening to him. Her heart's pounding, she's hearing this weird clicking noise (that would be Predator Barney going by). Ted says it's romantic that he and Zoey are getting serious on Valentine's Day, and Robin says it's just good that he's sure. He gets unsure all of a sudden, and tries to convince himself and Robin how glad he is to be in a serious relationship, right away. Because if he screws this up, he's the devil since she's going through a divorce. He tells Robin to STOP FREAKING OUT. Then Saget!Ted says he's not proud of what he did next. He shows up at Marshall's in Minnesota.
Later, as Desperation Day turns into Desperation Night, Robin introduces Barney to her lady friends. They're all wearing purple, which is for pride or something since tomorrow's Valentine's Day. Bev, whose idea it was, says it was a stupid idea and their other friend tells her it's not, since tonight they're queens. And Robin says they don't care about this sexist, corporate holiday. Barney says they might as well be dog-earing a tear-stained bridal magazine while wolfing down the box of chocolates they had sent to themselves at work from the fiancé no one's met. Bev: "Gerard is real!"