Ted and Zoey make a Valentine's Day date: a home-cooked meal at his place. Then Zoey tells him she's so excited for this first Valentine's Day, which they'll remember for years. At MacLaren's, he fills Robin in and she says this is too much pressure and she's freaking out just listening to him. Her heart's pounding, she's hearing this weird clicking noise (that would be Predator Barney going by). Ted says it's romantic that he and Zoey are getting serious on Valentine's Day, and Robin says it's just good that he's sure. He gets unsure all of a sudden, and tries to convince himself and Robin how glad he is to be in a serious relationship, right away. Because if he screws this up, he's the devil since she's going through a divorce. He tells Robin to STOP FREAKING OUT. Then Saget!Ted says he's not proud of what he did next. He shows up at Marshall's in Minnesota.
Later, as Desperation Day turns into Desperation Night, Robin introduces Barney to her lady friends. They're all wearing purple, which is for pride or something since tomorrow's Valentine's Day. Bev, whose idea it was, says it was a stupid idea and their other friend tells her it's not, since tonight they're queens. And Robin says they don't care about this sexist, corporate holiday. Barney says they might as well be dog-earing a tear-stained bridal magazine while wolfing down the box of chocolates they had sent to themselves at work from the fiancé no one's met. Bev: "Gerard is real!"
In Minnesota, Ted's now playing videogames, too, and Lily reminds him he's supposed to help get Marshall back to New York. Ted thinks they should stay here until at least after Valentine's Day, plus they're helping Marshall's mom! He yells to her that they're running low on Sunny D. She hollers back to ask if orange juice is okay. Marshall and Ted, in unison: "No!"
MacLaren's. Barney's still making fun of Bev's fake fiancé. Another of Robin's girlfriends (not wearing purple) shows up, all cute and sexy. Her name's Nora. In Minnesota, Lily tells Marshall she's going home, and she wants him to come with her. He says he can't, because his mom needs him. She says it's clearly been super-helpful to have him here playing Super Mario Kart for fourteen hours a day. Ted: "You have Super Mario Kart?!" Lily tells him his mom doesn't need him; his life in New York needs him. He asks her not to go, and Lily kisses him and says, "Come home soon." Tough love.
MacLaren's. Barney's insulting a hot girl for not being good enough, then he heads over to ask Nora why she's not wearing purple like her friends. She says she told them she forgot, but she's really sort of protesting their protest; can he keep her secret? She loves Valentine's Day. He says he does too, and she's glad he's another "gooey romantic." He pretends he is, and they bond over it, then she tells him the one difference between them is that she's not saying any of this to get in his pants.