Cab: Barney explains the brunette cabbie scam to Marshall by reminding him of his plan to have sex with at least one woman from every country on the planet. He pulls down a map. On it, red check marks mark his progress. Marshall: "Wow. You're doing surprisingly well in the Baltics." Barney: "Mm-hmm, so I figured, what's the quickest way to get around the world in a hundred and eighty lays? Lease a cab and wait outside the U.N. Building for hot foreign chicks. It was the perfect plan. There was only one small detail I didn't take into account." Marshall: "Chicks don't wanna bang cab drivers." Barney: "Chicks do not want to bang cab drivers! And I put a lot of work into this one." Marshall confides in Barney that he's now got to tell Lily the fifth doppelganger is a fake. He explains their conception plan and the sign Lily wanted from the universe. Barney's completely against that. "The rule is -- no kids until you're 45. Do you ever read my blog? It's gotten a lot better." Marshall ignores him; he's ready now, but Lily needs this sign. Marshall's worried that now it might take years. Barney pulls up to the curb. "I'm sorry, buddy." A beat. "That'll be $37.50"
At home in bed that night, Marshall tries to break the news to Lily and her fantastic rack. Really, Alyson Hannigan, you are rocking your post-pregnancy bod for all it's worth. I've been watching you on TV for about 13 years and you look better than ever. Marshall tries to tell the truth, but she's standing there all ready, willing and able. Marshall's a goner.
MacLaren's: Robin and blond-Ted walk in. Barney cracks up then cracks wise. He heard about the hair, so he worked up some new material. It's mostly Billy-Idol cracks. Ted argues that he's getting tons of compliments, but he's not there to show off the new 'do. Eventually, Robin breaks the news that she might be moving to Chicago next week. Now, we already know she's not, so there's no suspense to this storyline, but for the record, I think I'd prefer a Robin In Chicago spin-off to this season.
Marshall & Lily's Bedroom: Marshall stops kissing to clarify whether or not they'd still be trying to conceive if they hadn't seen Cabbie Barney. Lily says it doesn't matter, since they did see him. "Which means the universe, in all its wisdom, is telling you to stick me and stick me real good." Okay, can I change my vote on "Put a baby in my belly," because shudder, Lily needs to never say that "stick me" thing again. Ever. I know she's a sensual person with a healthy sex drive, but I don't want to hear that level of pillow talk. I mean if it works for Marshall, and it may, guys are gross (sorry y'all, but you are), then I'm very happy for them, but I don't want to know about it. Marshall: "I can't." Oh, see? It squicked him, too. "I can't -- in good conscience -- stick you." Lily says she knows what's bothering him; the cabbie just didn't look enough like Barney. Marshall's eyes bug out of his head. "Well, that's just not true."