How I Met Your Mother

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Cindy McLennan: C+ | 1 USERS: F
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Hair Salon: Robin rants about getting this opportunity just as things are going so well with Don. "It's the never-ending battle of my life: career versus romance." Ted laughs along with us and then explains to our friend from the north: "Never-ending battle? Career's been trouncing romance for years. Like the Globetrotters versus the Generals. Career is sinking hook shots from half court. Romance is just a bunch of slow, white guys who couldn't make it in the Italian league." Yes, this is the same Ted who called the Jets' uniforms "costumes."

Or maybe it isn't the same Ted. Maybe Costumes-Ted was his second doppelganger -- an evil one -- who kidnapped Ted and assumed his life, home, and place in his social circle -- hell-bent on derailing the show's premise by convincing every female Manhattanite that Ted Mosby is gay. And then maybe once Evil-Ted realized that the writers are already derailing the show's premise fine on their own, he got scared... er... straight. Costumes-Ted's last shady act was, of course, hypnotizing Ted so that he'd forget the whole kidnapping ugliness. On the upside, Ted met the mother while he was being held captive at an undisclosed location. On the downside, the hypnosis wiped all memory of the mother from his brain, so she's standing atop the Empire State building, waiting for him. And of course Barney will end up scamming her with the He's Not Coming play. Don't worry, though. After a full course of Cipro, she'll be good as new again, except for an aversion to sex, that will linger long after she's recovered from her nervous breakdown. It's sad, really, because she would have been a perfect wife for Ted, but she can't even hold a job these days. Fortunately, that doesn't rule her out as the mother. By the time Ted has finished rehabbing his Money Pit, he will have lived alone too long to attempt anything real and lasting with a woman, yet he's too fussy to live with a bunch of cats, so the gang will taunt him into getting a surrogate, so they can laugh as he fails miserably at his life's dream: being a family man. Presto change-o -- he'll meet the mother... when they sign her surrogate contract.

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How I Met Your Mother

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