MacLaren's: Barney, Blond Ted, Lily and Marshall sit around the table. As Ted bemoans the potential loss of Robin (that will not come to pass), the gang starts having another telepathic conversation. Lily's Mind: Guys, maybe this is the depression talking, but is Ted's hair starting to look kinda good? Marshall's Mind: Thank God. I thought I was the only one. Barney's Mind: He looks like a freaking movie star. Ted (aloud): "Oh, and by the way, this [indicates hair] was a huge mistake. I'm changing my hair back." The gang winces and agrees.
Robin arrives, announcing that she just turned down the Chicago job. In the flashback, she looks at a photo of Don and her as she refuses. Back in the bar, the gang greets her news with applause and hugs, because this is now a hugging and learning show, heaven help me.
City Streets: Marshall calls Lily out on the fact that she thought bewigged Actual Barney was a petite, pot-bellied, Asian man. He realizes she's not ready and apologizes for trying to rush things, saying they'll wait for the real doppelganger. As they embrace, something catches Marshall's eye. Across the street, a Barney Doppelganger in a red wig juggles knives. Some people juggle geese.
Don's: Don arrives home to find Robin setting the table and laying out pizza and a salad. She talks in a goofy voice that he -- thank goodness -- stops, by kissing her. And then he breaks the bad news. He's been offered a job as lead anchor in Chicago. And he has taken it. Robin's cheeks are flushed as she nods and he explains how long he's been waiting for this opportunity.
City Streets: Juggler-Barney juggles. Marshall and Lily approach him. He tries to play it off like he is Kristof Doppelganger -- Estonian street performer. Marshall cocks his head as he smiles indulgently. "Bro."
Don's: Robin tries to beat a hasty retreat. He grabs her wrist. "Put yourself in my shoes. Can you imagine what it's like to have the phone ring and it's your dream job on the other end?" Robin fights back the tears as she nods. "Yes... I can. Good luck in Chicago, Don." And with that, she's gone. Goodbye, Rabbit McDuck. We hardly knew ye.
City Streets: Lily and Marshall try to get Barney to admit that he's not an Estonian street performer. After he plugs his blog, Lily breaks him down. "Yesterday, 'Barney' thought he had to say goodbye to someone he truly loves. Then it got him thinking: maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing if a baby joined our little group." Still in character, Kristof-Barney admits: "Babies... can be... cute." Lily: "Someday, he's gonna make the best uncle in the world, because this Barney -- he's family to us." At that, she puts her hand on his shoulder and kisses his cheek. Marshall places a dollar in Barney's busker bucket and the couple walks off. Barney is swayed, and ready to pack up and leave, until a beautiful, blond Estonian woman approaches. Barney checks his map. "Estonia would close out the Baltics." Once he rises, Blondie says she's a street performer, like he is, and proceeds to swallow the blade of his sword -- whole. Barney faints. My over-active gag reflex activates again. At this point, the only reason I'm not putting him in a timeout is for your sake, gentle reader.