How I Met Your Mother

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The year 2030. In the future, SagetTed's son is wearing a jacket, so we must have licked that whole global warming thing. Thanks Al Gore! SagetTed tells the kids that everybody makes mistakes. He mentions a girl named Meg, who made a mistake named "Barney." We cut immediately to the year 2007, with Barney chatting up a very attractive lady at the bar. (Is there any other kind on this show?) Meg is telling Barney about how her last boyfriend had major commitment issues. She thought she was going to marry him. The whole relationship lasted three weeks. Barney pretends to love commitment. He wishes he could marry commitment.

Immediate cut to Ted and Barney on the apartment couch. They've had about eight beers between them. Barney is telling Ted about the girl he met the night before. He says she was perky, full-of-life and not at all fake. Ted asks if Barney is asking about her boobs. "Sí," Barney says. Then he says that it wasn't Spanish. He was talking about her cup size. What-uuuuup! Bro-dap is exchanged. Beer bottles are clinked. Ted, really into his cups, wants a word picture describing Meg's boobs. You don't have to twist Barney's arm. Barney tells Ted to imagine the heads of two Irish babies named (blubber sound) and (blubber sound). The camera changes angles to show Lily saying, "Please stop." She and Marshall are trying to have a little candlelit dinner and wine. SagetTed explains that when you get married you outgrow some parts of your life. The fun ones. Oh, I kid the marriage! It rules. On weekends, sometimes.

SagetTed goes on to explain that the parts Lily and Marshall were outgrowing were mostly him. We cut to a scene where Lily accidentally walks in on Ted in the bathroom, shaving. She runs out screaming. Ted, holding a towel around his lower body, runs after her, asking why she'd walk in on him shaving. "I thought you were shaving your face!" she wails. "Well, clearly I WASN'T!" Ted screams back. Ew. Ted's one of those guys with swimmer's nethers. We side-wipe to a scene of Robin and Barney on the couch, smoking cigars and being loud about a boxing match on TV. Robin just lost a bet. "Pay up, hussy!" Barney yells at her. Marshall, rockin' a "Corner Café" shirt, comes out of his bedroom and complains that it's 3 in the morning and it reeks in the apartment. "Ted said it was okay," Robin tells him. Ted comes back from the kitchen. He asks if Marshall isn't taking the bar the next morning. Marshall glares at him.

SagetTed says that this was all about to come to a head. A new scene in the apartment. This time, Marshall is holding an open jar of peanut butter and complaining that Ted forgot to put the lid back on it. It's a shout-out to the infamous Pedro/Puck fight from Real World San Francisco. In fact, Marshall starts ranting that this immature "jackassery" reminds him of living in The Real World house, and not the early years, when they had jobs and social consciences, but post-Hawaii. Marshall keeps yelling, concluding by saying that he and Lily are going to look for their own place. Wow, why not just kick Ted out? He doesn't need all this space. Lily confesses that she was the one who left the lid off the peanut butter. Still, SagetTed tells us, it was time to move forward.

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How I Met Your Mother

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