How I Met Your Mother

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Dowisetrepla

Ba ba pa pa! (And then some)...

Back at the Dowisetrepla apartment. Barney and Ted have been called over to check out the place. Ted thought this part of town was supposed to be water. Marshall pretends to know what the name is when Ted asks if it's an abbreviation. "He's from Ohio," he tells Janice. She rolls her eyes. Marshall says this is an up-and-coming neighborhood. He thinks this might be the place. Marshall thinks they can raise a family here. He goes into the obligatory dream sequence. Marshall, wearing sunglasses, is playing the drums while his three blonde boys (they gave birth to Hanson?) are playing keyboard, bass, and electric guitar. It's kinda cute. Lily walks in carrying a fourth boy and holding a plate. "Who wants chocolate pancakes?" she asks. That is a good fantasy. Back in the present reality, Marshall says this is gone be sweet. Robin raves about the kitchen, which is actually gorgeous, and has a kitchen island I covet. But it's just pretense to have a conversation about Lily's crazy debt. Robin says she has a debt the size of Mount Waddington. Robin has to explain that it's the tallest mountain in Canada. I thought that was Mount Logan. Robin says it's 4,000 meters high. "Meters?" Lily asks. The laugh track is oblivious to these Canadian-themed jokes. Lily doesn't want to tell Marshall. Robin suggests she tell him the place is haunted. "You really don't know Marshall, do you?" Lily asks. Why is Robin even on this show anymore? Back in the living room, Barney is sneakily asking the realtor about the apartment owners. She says they're on vacation in France for two weeks. Marshall pretends to be interested in buying the place himself. Janice gives him the lockbox code, which doesn't seem like something a realtor would do for someone she just met. She hands Barney a card. It says, "Worst Realtor Ever." Ted comes over asking what Barney's doing. Barney says it's a ploy to pick up a girl, use the apartment once, then never have to see the girl again. Brilliant! And...uh...a little sick. Janice, holding some tasty baked treats on a tray, tells Marshall and Lily that another couple is interested in the apartment. Marshall sees through her little ruse. He's not buying it. SagetTed says that's what Marshall should have said. We rewind to the real version: "Another couple!?" Marshall says, freaking, "No! We want it! Sell it to us! We'll give you so much more money!" Smooth, dude. Lily pulls him away. She says she's not sure it's time to buy right now. Marshall goes on again about their family. Lily has her own fantasy: daughters named Persephone and Daphne who also paint. The three of them have their own easels and they're exhibiting at a mother-daughter thing at the Met. Marshall, wearing a turtleneck and carrying a cute little black dog, brings in a plate of crepes au chocolat. "Merci, Papa!" the girls squeal. Hee hee. Back in reality. The realtor asks what they think. Lily tells Marshall they can't afford to buy an apartment because of her debt. Which is...what she should have said. SagetTed reveals cruel truth in what she actually said: "I love it! Let's get it! Can we charge it?"

MacLaren's. Everybody's toasting Marshall and Lily toward their step to adulthood...by making them chug their champagne. Wendy the Waitress asks if there's anything else they'd like. I'd like Wendy the Waitress, please. Is...what Ted should have said. Marshall orders the comically large bottle of champagne he's been eyeing at the bar for years. It's huge! A gong plays. Wendy warns that it's never been refrigerated and that there may have been fish in there at some point. "Once you've made the sale, stop selling," Marshall advises. Wendy needs help carrying the bottle. The boys leave and Lily explains to Robin that they'll apply for the loan under Marshall's name and she'll work to get her debt down. Right after she furnishes the apartment. Oh, Lily. "You should be a reality show," Robin tells her. The boys bring the bottle over to the booth. Marshall warns that the cork is as big as a softball and that they should point it away from Wendy's face. That's what he should have said. In reality, poor Wendy gets a huge cork in the face and screams. Now, ain't that just a cork in the face?

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How I Met Your Mother

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