They get in the car, and Lily asks if they want to talk about "bitches." They guys look at her, and she says she's just kidding. "They're called women." Then she has to pee. They haven't even pulled away from the curb yet. She jokes to Ted that she pees a lot, as he'll soon learn, then takes a swig from a gallon bottle of water before leaving the car. When Ted gives Marshall a disappointed look, Marshall tells him not to worry. On the road, it will be just like old times. We flash back to 1999. Ted and Marshall are road-tripping in the Fiero. As they eat beef jerky, they sing along with The Proclaimers "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" plays, because as we learned in "Arrivederci, Fiero" that tape is stuck in the deck. Back in 2009, Lily offers them some sugar snap peas, which remind her that she has to pee. In 1999, Marshall drives even though Ted is covering his eyes and giving him directions, and they're driving past a State Trooper. I suspect they had some, er... cantaloupe right beforehand. In 2009, Ted dozes in the passenger seat, at least until Lily wakes him by punching his arm and shouting, "Ooh, Punch Buggy -- yellow!" As Ted nurses his sore shoulder, Lily adds, "Yellow. That reminds me, I have to pee." In 1999, Ted drives for a while, and it seems he's naked, as he stops at a toll both. Marshall chugs tantrum right from the two-liter bottle. They giggle as they drive off. In 2009, Lily gets back in the car and suggests they listen to something. Ted says he has some Jerky Boys, but Lily has an audio book about a boy and his dog, Goodbye Sparky, narrated by Kenny Rogers. Marshall is delighted. Ted sneers. Kenny Rogers tells the story of Sparky, a semi-toothless mutt who would pee on the boy's mother's rhododendrons (which reminds Lily she has to pee).
The Apartment: Barney quizzes Robin on the flag, the Bill of rights and other points of American Civics. She's got it all down cold, so Barney decides to get the Canadian out of her, and make her a real American. He shows her a picture. When she (correctly) identifies the subject as Queen Elizabeth II, Barney tells her she's wrong. "It's Elton John." When she correctly identifies a sports photo as a shot of Curling, Barney says the correct answer is, "I don't care. It's dumb. Let's go buy something that's bad for us, and then sue the people who made it. That's American, Robin."