Crumpet Manor: Ted's back from the wishing well, which must be defective because he's still stuck there. He tells Marshall they should be on the road. Marshall says they're not in college any more. Lily asks the hostess about spa treatments. The hostess says they're all for couples. So... what? Ted can't even get a massage? Are you kidding me? She turns to Marshall and Lily and asks if they're interested in a cornmeal body scrub. Saget!Ted says, "And then finally it happened. Marshall and Lily globbed into one, big married glob." On screen, we see their images morph into a one distorted globby body with two (also distorted) heads. "We'd love a cornmeal body scrub." Ted looks sort of woozy. "Oh. I've got to dial back on the Tantrum."
Manhattan; Nighttime: Robin walks the city streets alone, with a bit of a swagger. Her inner monologue has a Southern accent, and she celebrates the idea of becoming an American. Then she imagines herself holding up a liquor store. When a cab drives by, she shouts, "Learn English!' Then suddenly -- it's before her -- the Hoser Hut. She argues with herself about whether that life is behind her, or whether or not she can go in for just one beer. Beer wins. Beer always wins. As she crosses the street, Robin thinks, "What's the harm in that? It's a free country." We jump to some time later, in the bar. A tearful Robin drunkenly croons "O! Canada" with her fellow expatriates.
Crumpet Manor: Lily is sleeping and Marshall is reading in bed, wearing a cute shorty robe, when there's a knock at the door. It's Ted. He apologizes for being crabby earlier and asks him if wants to go with him to the store to get some beer. In the car, Marshall asks why they're pulling on the highway. Ted doesn't answer, so Marshall asks, "Where exactly are we going to get this beer?" Ted says, "Chicago." That's my kind of town.
After the break, the guys bicker. Marshall can't just leave Lily like that. "How am I supposed to have fun?" Four minutes later, he and Ted are singing along with The Proclaimers at the top of their lungs. Ted asks if Marshall really thinks Lily will be pissed. Marshall growls playfully. "If she's pissed -- she's pissed!" Heh. We cut to...
A Ransacked Hotel Room: Oh man, Lily must be pissed. Wait, no. Saget!Ted is telling us that this is Robin's room. Barney has finally tracked her down. The room is in shambles. Robin is sleeping on the floor, cuddling with a Curling stone. She's surprised to see him and asks what happened last night. Barney stammers. "You... went Canadian." Robin wants to know how Canadian. Barney approaches the hotel window and says, "This Canadian," while ripping back the curtains to reveal...a brick building. When he realizes what they're looking at, he adds, "Oh that was supposed to be a dramatic view of the Toronto sky... You're in Toronto." It's all coming back to Robin. She met up with a women's Curling Team. "We started drinking, and the next thing I know, they're inviting me to a Brian Adams-Rich Little double bill, in Toronto." Is Rich Little still alive? She asks Barney how he found her. He says, "You called me -- said you were never coming back, so I jumped on a plane, flew across the Atlantic..." Robin interrupts. "Canada isn't across the Atlantic." Barney tells her she's talking nonsense. He tells her to forget her slip-up. There are still a few hours 'til the naturalization test, but Robin says she's not taking it. Barney sighs. "God, you're still drunk." Robin appreciates his help, but says she's Canadian and always will be. Barney tells her they'll get her some coffee and sober her up and get her back to New York in time. "But, before any of that, we're gonna do it -- on this bed, 'cause? Hotel room!" Robin rolls her eyes and turns away. Barney says, "Okay, let's get some coffee!"