This episode starts out ten years in the future, with Ted at an airport in Hong Kong looking decidedly twenty years older (at least). He runs into Wendy the Waitress, which flashes us back to ten years earlier, when Ted was with Zoey and the gang hung out at MacLaren's with their waitress, Wendy. Barney had just finished his Valentine's Day laser tag date with Nora, and was avoiding calling her because she'd turned down a drink at the first date. Marshall was moping, hating his job, and not having sex with Lily. And Ted and Zoey were in that new-couple bliss where he wanted to tell everyone how they met (his kids are like, "Yeah, we get it; you love long, drawn-out stories of meeting women).
Marshall's mopiness has something to do with wanting to save the planet, especially after watching a documentary about Garbage Island. Lily practically strips in front of him, rubs him all over, and does everything else she can to try to get him to have sex, but he won't. In the end, sitting in a dumpster, he finally admits this is all about his dad's expectations of him and how he can't be a dad until he's saved the world. It's hard to tell if they mean it or if they'll be back to trying for a baby soon. I guess we'll find out. Barney fights his love for Nora (which he can't say without a smile), but Robin eventually convinces him, through trickery, that he likes her. And he ultimately gets her number and goes to make a phone call.
Zoey, for some reason, left one box back at her old apartment with the Captain, which she puts Ted in charge of getting. When he shows up, the Captain thinks he's there to show support for him. They bond over Captain-speak and hatred for whomever stole Zoey's heart. Ultimately, the Captain blames the doorman and wants to injure him until Ted convinces him they were never right for each other anyway (she didn't even like boats!). So Ted admits he's the new boyfriend and runs away. Then we're back in 2021 in the Hong Kong airport, and we find out Wendy the Waitress ended up with a guy she met because of Marshall's annoying green phase. She asks Ted if he's still with Zoey. He's not, and it didn't end well. When he starts tell the story of the woman he's with now (the mother of his two children), they say they really have to go and cut him off. So he calls Marshall on a hologram phone. Ah, the future. Still as silly as it's ever been on television.
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I know you've just barely gotten used to me with this half-season I've weecapped, but this will be my last weecap of How I Met Your Mother as the designated writer. I'm not saying I'll never fill in for whatever lucky soul takes over, but someone else wonderful will get the assignment. I'll still be watching and reading, though, and expecting greatness. So, about the show. Saget!Ted tells us, his kids, that sometimes great things come out of terrible circumstances. Remember, for example, when he got stranded in the Hong Kong airport on a business trip? In fact, no, we don't remember that, but we'll play along. Older-looking Ted complains to an airline rep at the airport that he can't believe a drizzle would shut down an airport in 2021 (though Ted's looking a lot more than ten years older) when we can make cell phones that send a hologram of the person on the other end. A cute girl greets him and he pretends to know who she is (he doesn't). She reminds him she's Wendy the Waitress. So Saget!Ted backs us up "about ten years."
MacLaren's, 2011. Robin tells Barney she heard he and Nora had a fun time at laser tag. He wonders where she heard that, since it was "a disaster." (But remember, kids, what Saget!Ted just said: So something good's going to come out of it, right?) Robin explains Nora's version of what happened, and we get a swipe into the past for it. Nora thought it was fun and wanted to do it again, Barney invited her for a drink, but she was too tired, so she gave him her number and went home. Then we get Barney's version, which has everything after her rejecting his drink offer muffled out so he can't understand it. Then him faking, "Absolutely." He tells Robin it was a shame, too, because Nora's a great laser tag partner; she's small, so she can push kids. Robin tells him he likes Nora, but he swears he doesn't. She says he can't say her name without smiling, so he tries and tries and tries, much to the delight of Robin, Lily and Marshall. Barney makes up a rhyme about Nora's face and booty, but how he doesn't chase for it. Lily tells him that's ridiculous and then says she has some advice. This is the point where everything she says is muffled to Barney, but he still responds, "Totally," when she's done. How fun would it be to live inside Barney's brain? Almost as fun as the "Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, da, da, da, da, da, da, DA" (don't count them; I'm sure I'm off) opening song.