How I Met Your Mother

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Another One Down

Ted and Zoey are alone at the table at MacLaren's. Ted asks if he stole her, and she says he did. He hangs his head, and she goes on that he did it by being the kind of sweet, thoughtful guy who'd never think of stealing someone. He's all, "So I'm the bad guy? Great." Zoey tells him it will be years before anyone will know who's the good or bad guy. Divorce sucks, she says, but sometimes things need to fall apart to make way for a better thing.

Speaking of falling apart, Marshall's angrily rifling through the trash when Lily stops him and asks, seriously, what's going on. He says his dad always was so proud of him for wanting to be an environmental lawyer, and he only got to see the version of him that was a corporate stooge. And now they're going to start a family, and he's never been an environmental lawyer. She wonders if he's avoiding sex because he doesn't want a family yet. He tells her that once they have kids, that's it for him: He'll be locked in his corporate job forever. Lily tells him that if he wants to go save the planet, he should do that right now. Then, once he's saved the planet and cleaned all the oceans -- "you know, like a year from now" -- they can start a family. As if no one who works as an environmental lawyer for a nonprofit has ever had a family? But Marshall says he doesn't know, because all he's done in trying to save the planet was break Wendy the Waitress's back, push Lily away, and get Meeker fired. He surely hates him. Lily says he doesn't, but Saget!Ted tells us he really did. And he knew that they all hung out at MacLaren's after work. So that night he went there to confront Marshall. But instead he ran into Wendy, taking out bottles. The bag falls apart, and he helps her pick them up. She mutters about Marshall, and they bond over their hatred for him. Saget!Ted: "And the rest, as they say, is history."

Back in the airport of the future, Meeker's joined Wendy. They decided to come here to celebrate their second honeymoon. Wendy asks about Ted; is he still with Zoey? Ted scoffs and laughs: "No! Wow, that did not end well." He says it was for the best, though, because he's married to an amazing girl and they have two kids. He goes on that it's a funny story how they met: He was a best man at this wedding... (brief cut to him and Marshall on the bench). As if anticipating the epic tale, Wendy interrupts that it's great seeing him, but they've got to run. He tells them it was great to see them. Then he calls Marshall on his hologram cell phone to tell him who he just ran into after all this time.

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How I Met Your Mother

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