Later that night: Ted picks up Cindy for their first date, which Saget!Ted reminds us is a very important first date. He narrates that from the moment he entered the (exceedingly yellow) apartment, he got the feeling that he was exactly where he was supposed to be. As Cindy runs off to get her purse, current-day Ted looks around the living room, and Saget!Ted tells his kids that that was the first time he ever saw their mother's little yellow bus (not a euphemism, thank goodness, because what would that mean). "You know the one; it's right behind you." Cut to a vintage shot of the kids. They don't look behind them, because like us, this is their fifth year listening to this yarn, and they know they're not getting the mother that easy. But we can see the toy bus on the shelf just above and to the (our) right of the daughter's head. It gleams with the precious glow of sitcom love. Fssssssh. Back in the present: Ted's still holding the bus and when Cindy returns, he tells her it's cute. She says, "Actually, it's my roommate's," and we cut to commercial.

Ted promptly returns the bus to the shelf and apologizes to Cindy for messing with her roommate's stuff. He asks what her roommate is like. Saget!Ted chimes in saying he didn't know it, but he was about to hear the first description of the woman he'd someday marry. Cindy: "She's a whore. I think she's a dominatrix." Dear BDSM Community, please send your letters to Craig Thomas and Carter Bays, care of CBS. Unless you're a sub who loves to do laundry, then we can talk. Ted's all, "Wha--" like you are, and then Cindy cops to the fact that she was lying. She just has "a bit" of a roommate complex because guys are always falling for said roomie. Putting aside the fact that Rachel Bilson is beautiful, and her character has a rockin' name, and is sweet -- which renders this premise completely unbelievable...wait. I can't. Rachel Bilson is beautiful, and her character has a rockin' name, and is sweet -- which renders this premise completely unbelievable. I'm prematurely deciding this episode will get no higher than a B grade, because...puh-lease! Anyhow, Ted promises Cindy he will not fall in love with her roommate. Freeze frame. From the future, Saget!Ted says, "Oops!" I knew it! I knew it! Well, not 'knew' in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn't know. And we sideways whoosh to...