MacLaren's: The gang is seated at the booth when Marshall arrives fresh from work, wearing you-know-what. As he tells them about his day, Barney nuzzles his suit jacket arm as though it were a breast. He tries to call Barney out of his suit fugue, but he's too far gone. Finally, Marshall slaps his face. Please, for the love of Italian silk, don't let that slap count toward the Slap Bet. We cut to...

MacLaren's Men's Room: In a stall, Barney opens a hidden compartment built into the stall door to reveal a suit. Secret agent music plays. "Suit Up," are the only lyrics. But Barney is no more than an addict, contemplating the last of his stash. As he changes, Marshall enters the men's room to tell him to hurry, as they plan to order food. Once Marshall is gone, Barney slides into his jacket and...RIP! Cut to Barney running down the streets of Manhattan, cradling the jacket the way you'd cradle a dying child. As he yells to pedestrians to get out of his way, Saget!Ted tells us that if anyone could fix things, it was Barney's personal tailor -- TV's Tim Gunn. Excellent! Except not. Tim: "I'm sorry, Barney. I couldn't make it work." Barney cries. The suit was so young -- only 7 years old. Tim talks him into making an organ donation. There's a suit that desperately needs the buttons from Barney's suit. It's a matter of life and death. (Okay, maybe an A-.) Barney gives Tim his consent for the transplant. Tim: "You're doing the right thing." Barney sobs on Tim's chest until Tim snaps him back into reality. "Please don't cry on this. It's silk." We cut to commercial to give Barney a few moments to compose himself.

MacLaren's: Barney, holding an urn full of his suit's remains, tells the gang about the life-saving transplant. Robin hopes this will end Barney's ridiculous quest for the hottie bartender, but how can Barney let his dearly departed suit down? He can't. He shan't! He kisses the top of the urn and heads up to the bar. Ted looks around at his friends. "He's absolutely right." Lily tries to snap Ted back to reality -- to no avail. "What if Cindy is the woman I'm supposed to marry and I'm just giving up? So long, elegant yet welcoming home in Westchester -- with a sensible mortgage I can handle without dipping into my savings." Yeah, babe, good luck with that. Ted's not listening to me. "Bye bye, two kids I raised with a stern yet loving hand -- finding the perfect balance between father and friend." Ditto. "Adios, triplet schnauzers Frank, Lloyd and Wright. Marshall, Lily and Robin have had enough and yell out, "Ted," simultaneously. Ted's point is: "I'm not giving up, either." He rises dramatically from the booth, walks to the bar, kisses Barney's urn, wonders aloud why he just did that and prances away like a magnificent poof .