As we see Ted putting all his belongings back around his apartment, Saget!Ted narrates that even though they all tried to be there for him, he was, by all appearances, fine. Lily and Robin show up with pizza and beer, asking him to hang out, but he insists he's fine. Cut to Marshall asking Ted to play a game of catch (because he's... seven?), and Ted says he's fine. Cut to Barney showing up at the door with two women. Ted's exasperated, now. "Barney, I'm fine. This is not necessary and it's actually kind of weird. No offense, ladies." In his best Carson, Barney says, "I did not realize you'd be home." He turns to the women. "Ladies -- to the stairwell!" Ew.

Theme song!

While the gang hangs at MacLaren's, Saget!Ted tells us, "Finally, after two weeks, the inevitable emotions boiled over." But it's not Ted who's bubbling up. As Ted inquires about going out for dinner, Lily says, "Oh, shut up." Shocked, everyone looks at her, so she apologizes, but there's a but. "Ted, you've been through something traumatic, and we're trying to be there for you as friends, but you're not letting us, and it's pissing us off, ya selfish bitch!" Marshall takes over. Referring to the time Lily left him, he says, "Remember how I held in my feelings?" Flash back to Marshall sobbing into Ted's chest. Robin speaks for all of us. "Yeah dude, you were a rock." Marshall's point is that he should have allowed himself to get angry and burned all of Lily's clothes, like Ted suggested. (Lily: "Oh, thanks, Ted!") He would have gotten through it all sooner. He tells Ted he wants him to explode. "Release the berserker." I think it's hiding in your hair, Marshall. [Seriously, if I wanted to watch a show about a guy with that haircut, I'd watch Raising the Bar. - Zach] Barney tells everyone to get off Ted's back -- he's just happy. "If Ted were married right now, he'd be... married; he'd be living in New Jersey; and... he'd be married. He's fine, now let's eat." They discuss restaurants, but Ted shoots down each one, because of the risk of running into Stella, or Stella's mother. Barney asks if there's anywhere in Manhattan where they can eat. Ted says of course there is, and pulls out his color coded map of neighborhoods Stella frequents (red areas) and Stella-free zones (white) to narrow down their choices: "A New York Guide to Place You Might Run into Stella Zinman." [I love Robin's detached acceptance of all of this: "Whatcha got there, Ted?" - Z]