How I Met Your Mother

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Hiding Well Is The Best Revenge

Ted makes his point: Barney's scared of Becca; Lily's scared of Gasser. "We're staying under the table." Marshall peeks above board, and oh my word, must we have another tight shot of that hair? I'm begging you, Mr. Director. Have mercy. Messrs Bays and Thomas, there's got to be an appearance clause in his contract, right? You could write an episode around it. Hell, let Regis and Britney cut it. Anything. Just save me from the hair that ate Manhattan, or at least might put Manhattan off its food. Back down under, Marshall reports that Stella is gone. The gang takes their seats, and Ted brags that's how you do it, Ohio style. "The problem showed up. We avoided it. It went away. Now we can enjoy our meal in peace..." Marshall whispers, "She's back," and down they go, again. Cut to a pretty blonde woman in a pink shirt, holding a glass of red wine. "Lily and Marshall. Ted and Robin. Barney and... Robin? With so many loves and laughs, it's fun trying to keep up with the romance on..." What the bloody Hell is this? It's a commercial called a special, "Insider Treat." And it's nothing of the kind. It's like those Aerie Girls that pestered the last season of Veronica Mars, and still didn't make enough money to keep the show on the air. Shudder.

Down Under (without that blonde woman): Marshall says, "Ted, we all think that you need to... wait... where's Barney? Lily peeks out and catches him under the table of the nearby pretty women. He gives her a big wink. Marshall finishes that they all think Ted needs to go talk to Stella. Robin doesn't. "If the last person I wanted to see walked in that door, I wouldn't say a damned word." Barney slides back under, singing the praises of the other table. Robin then tells her friends a little about her bad relationship with her father, Victor Freaking Newman, er... I mean Eric Braeden, i.e. Robin Charles Scherbatsky, Senior. Robin hasn't spoken to him in three years, and doesn't intend to start now, but the trouble started with her birth. Papa Scherbatsky wanted a son, and having a girl didn't change his plan. When Ted asks what she means, Robin confesses: "My full legal name is Robin Charles Scherbatsky, Junior, and it only gets worse from there."

Flashback to 8-year-old Robin, going hunting with Daddy for the first time. She's adorable and missing her two front teeth. I know what she wants for Christmas! She takes the rifle from her father. "I don't want to shoot a deer." Senior says, "Nonsense, R.J. Shooting deer is the noblest of pursuits." Little Robin doesn't care: "But they're cute!" Senior says, "You said the same thing about our rabbits. Remember how delicious they were?" Oh, bunnies!

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How I Met Your Mother

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