Clint has written a song for Virginia. He plays guitar and sings to her, in front of all the guests. Clint: "When I squeeze her trembling bosom..." Ted: "Oh God." Clint: "The blood pumps to my loins..." Ted's visibly woozy. Clint: "When I penetrate her..."
The screen goes black. Saget!Ted: "Kids, I swear to God I blacked out for the next 12 minutes, so I have no idea how the song got to this ending..."
Clint: "...And Mahatma Gandhi, and the pancakes... EVERYONE!" Everyone but a horrified and confused Ted joins in: "And the dragon, and you!" Clint: "Virginia."
As the guests applaud, Barney drags Robin back to the gang's table. "Guys, guys, guess what Robin just did." He wipes the outer corner of his left eye, with his fist. We flash back to 20 seconds ago. Clint starts singing about Mahatma Gandhi and the pancakes, but this time, our focus is on Barney and Robin. He can't believe she's crying. She knows it's stupid, but she's touched that the happy couple is so happy. Back to the present, Barney wraps up his story, then takes off to tell the rest of the attendees, starting with Aunt Meredith, and later, Ted's hot sister, Heather (we never see her, but continuity-kudos to the writers).
Meanwhile, Ted gets the thirtysomething single person treatment at his own mother's wedding. Guest after guest comes up to him asking him when he's going to get married. Before she married, my gorgeous sister-in-law Lisa used to get this. It got to where she dreaded family weddings. What is wrong with people? I know, I know. I only have an hour, and that list has no end. Anyhow, Ted can't handle it, and tells Marshall he's out of there. Marshall reminds Ted that he's supposed to give a toast. Son-zilla tells him to make up an excuse for him, then flees.
MacLaren's: Saget!Ted narrates that his friends didn't see him for the next 72 hours. They're at MacLaren's fretting over his "radio silence" (and Barney's teasing Robin about getting emotional over Clint's song), when Ted returns, and tells the gang that he's on top of the world. And? They're going for a ride.
Ted's car, on a tree-lined highway: Marshall says, "Hey buddy, you want to let someone who isn't having some sort of manic episode drive for a while?" Lily agrees and wants to know where they're going. So Ted tells her that the night of the wedding, when he got to his hotel room, he went onto a website he sometimes visits when he can't sleep. The gang cringes and groans. Lily: "We do not want to know what you and the Internet do when you're lonely." Ted: "I didn't. I--I. That's not the part of the night that I was talking about." Ted went to his favorite real estate auction site, and BOUGHT A FREAKING HOUSE. And they're there, right now. Ted walks in first. "Guys, I just bought my dream house!" Mice scurry across the room. Ted jumps. Robin assumes a fighter's stance. Barney and Lily dive into Marshall's arms. Commercial.