Jesus Take The Wheel

How I Met Your Mother

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Cindy McLennan: C+ | Grade It Now!

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Jesus Take The Wheel

By Cindy McLennan | Season 5 | Episode 16 | Aired on 03.01.2010

In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Carrie Underwood guest stars as Tiffany, the pretty young thing currently stringing along Ted. The gang tries to warn Ted that Tiffany (who has a boyfriend) isn't into him. She just enjoys having Ted on the hook -- i.e. waiting in the wings, in case things go south with her beau. Barney nags Ted to walk away from Tiffany, at least until he finds out she is a Pharmaceutical Sales Rep, which he explains is the cutting-edge profession to which hot women are currently flocking. He then gives us the world history of hot girl professions, which I'll hit in tomorrow's weecap. Coincidentally, Ted has a woman on the hook -- Henrietta, the school librarian. He doesn't realize it until his friends point this out, but once he swears off Tiffany, he accidentally takes things too far with Henrietta, and has to break her heart to set her free.

Meanwhile, Marshall finds out that Lily's high school sweetheart, Scooter, is working in her school cafeteria. Lily still has Scooter on the hook. She keeps trying to free him, but when he looks at her with his puppy dog eyes, she can't bear to hurt him. Finally, Marshall brings home an adorable teacup pig (explanation in weecap) and tells Lily to practice letting it off the hook. Once she masters that, Lily does the same to Scooter, but he's so sweet and vulnerable, that every time Lily tells Scooter there can never be anything between them, Marshall ends up adding the hookish, "For now."

And for now, I'm sitting here wondering if HIMYM is just keeping me on the hook. They can't tell me who the mother is. Right now. Barney and Robin aren't meant to be together. Right now. Stunt casting is important for ratings. Right now. Yeah, well, overly broad writing is turning me off. Right now.

Check back tomorrow for the full weecap, the end tag. In the meantime, come on over to the forum, where you're always off the hook.

After hitting up the forums, add "hooked" to our HIMYM Dictionary!

Want more? The full recap starts right below!

Saget!Ted opens the show by narrating (to stock footage of his kids) that although in most of his stories he's the starry-eyed romantic, this time, he's just the jerk. Just this time? And don't worry, Ted, you're not the only one feeling like a jerk, but more on me, later. You ready? Okay.

MacLaren's: Ted's into this new girl Tiffany (Carrie Underwood), and he tells the gang that tonight's the night he is going to invite her up to his place to... see his antique camera collection. The guys discuss bait they've used (bait: that which a gentleman provides to a lady as an excuse to visit his place, so that they can both pretend they're not intending to have sex). Ted mentions vinyl records as a viable option. Marshall has used a "rap poster" (on Lily, who pleads youthful indiscretion; it was the first week of college and she was into the Wu-Tang Clan). Barney lectures that picking just the right bait is tricky. He has used a slot machine (too entertaining, per the flashback of his mark ignoring him), a trampoline (too dangerous, per the flashback of his mark getting carried out on a stretcher), but recently and most successfully, he's been using a teacup pig, whom we will henceforth call Teabagger. Ted's ready to scoff, but when Lily, Robin and even Marshall (so adorable) squeal in appreciation, he changes his scoff to a request to borrow Teabagger for his big night. Later, at Ted's Apartment, Tiffany squeals and swoons over Teabagger, but after Ted flirts with her and moves in for a kiss, she mentions someone else who would love the pig as well -- her boyfriend.

Theme Song!

Tiffany dithers over whether or not the other guy (TOG) is actually her boyfriend or not. She then claims to really like Ted, and asks him to be patient. "I don't want to lose you, Big Brown Eyes." Ted might be swayed by that tripe, but it's no Teddy Westside (or T-Mos), if you ask me.

MacLaren's: When Ted fills the gang in on his evening with Tiffany, they laugh because she *so* has Ted on the hook. When Ted denies this, Robin says she's been on both sides -- hookee and... I don't have finish that, right? Marshall too has been on the hook, Lisa Walker's hook to be precise. Lily rolls her eyes and scowls as Marshall sets up his tale of woe. It was back in...

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