How I Met Your Mother

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Bite The Big Apple -- The Big Apple Bites

Following everyone else's lead and ignoring Barney, Stella cheerfully suggests a game of Scrabble. Lily chirps, "Sure, whatever," but I still want to reach through the TV and slap the puss off her face. What the Hell, Willow? You're a guest in the home of your dear friend's fiancée, stop acting like you're doing her a favor. This is why you were not popular in High School. Or college. Fighting nerd fire with nerd fire, Stella morphs into Elliot Reid, and over-shares that the X tile is a bit faded because it once passed all the way through her dog. As the gang digests this (sorry) Barney is walking around in the background, holding his arm out, still waiting for a fist bump, and Stella says to Ted, "Maybe we should get a dog again, you know, when you move in." Ted says, "When I what?" just as the doorbell rings. Stella explains that it's Robin (who had her first day at her new job) and runs up stairs to answer the door, ignoring Barney's silent plea for some knuckle love. With Stella gone, Ted and the others express their horror at the idea of him moving to NJ. Barney runs over with his fist extended. "I bet that dog was really flying high after it swallowed a little X. Nailed it!" Why don't you take a load off, Barney? Your arm is going to get as tired as this joke.

After the commercial, Ted is still in shock. Marshall's trying to put a positive spin on the move. Barney's trying to get a fist bump for anything. Lily listens as Ted says they discussed the move, months ago. Flash back to a tipsy Ted sharing red wine with Stella, at his apartment. He suggests she and Lucy move to Manhattan with him after the wedding. She gives a clearly sarcastic response, but she's good-natured and a bit tipsy too, so Tipsy Ted takes her at her word. Flash forward to today -- and Ted can't get over that anyone would want to live in NJ when they could live in Manhattan. He thought his having a rent-controlled apartment on the Upper West Side was half the reason she agreed to marry him. Not the whole reason, ego boy? Oops. I stole Barney's line, but in my defense, I was just doing my job -- not whoring for a fist bump. Robin plods down the cellar stairs and she doesn't bump Barney either, having been warned off by Stella, and tired of jokes that go on too long. It turns out today wasn't Robin's first day -- it was only an audition. Flash back to a ladies room, in which Robin gets the call on her cell telling her she got the audition. She missed the entire, long-winded, overly-specific explanation that it was merely an audition, because she went from zero to Robin Sparkles in 60 seconds (that's 14 in Metric), and laid down her cell phone in order to rock her body 'til Canada Day in a hilariously pathetic and premature victory dance.

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How I Met Your Mother

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