How I Met Your Mother

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Cindy McLennan: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Bite The Big Apple -- The Big Apple Bites

While Robin's panicking because she knows she's not going to get the national anchor job, Ted and Marshall manage to get off a fist bump with one another which Barney declares "mean" and I've got to side with him here guys, because even if you won't put him out of his misery, put me out of mine. Lily tries to give Robin a pep talk, but she wants to call Joel and get her old job back. Barney tells her about the women who've hooked up with him more than once. The second time, they always have that look on their faces that says they hate themselves. He starts to tell her she can see the look for herself, there's a video at www... when she cuts him off. Stella rushes down the stairs warning her guests off from drinking the beer because we need a reason for Marshall and Ted to go to PriceCo. She sends them on their beer run, and suggests Ted sign up for a membership card while he's there, which gives him the look of horror and disgust Barney was just talking about.

At PriceCo, Ted explains that he can't move to NJ and reiterates his hatred of it. Marshall's more enthusiastic: riding lawn mowers; riding lawn mowers with cup holders; recliners with built-in cup holders; hammocks with cup holders. He's practically drooling. Back in Stella's basement, Barney is offering Lily all sorts of money to fist bump him. 100, 200, 10,000 dollars, but she won't bite, which is too bad considering her credit card debt and all the work needed at her and Marshall's new apartment. Back at PriceCo, Marshall tells Ted he can still come to New York all the time, so Ted interviews perfect strangers who happen to be formerly from New York now living in NJ. They never leave it now, declare themselves "New Jershians," and run off to see the dog T-shirts. You see Jason Segal waiver a little here and it's brilliant. As Ted continues to moan about his problems, Marshall succumbs to the lure of the dog shirt, and models a Boston Terrier and a Beagle shirt, and asks for their advice. (Go Boston, choose Boston!)

Back at Stella's, Barney is in tears from the pain of the unrequited fist bump. He and Lily realize Robin is missing and rush upstairs to find her calling Metro News 1, trying to get her old job back from Joel. Joel bluffs like he doesn't need her, but he's got a nervous kid going on at 11 PM. He tells Robin if she can be there by then, he'll let Madame Butterfly back into the cocoon. That's a half-hour. Lily says she'll never make it, but remember -- Robin's an ambitious butterfly. Barney wants her to bet on herself and not go running back to the job she hated, (and of course he makes a plea for a fist bump), but she says she is betting on herself -- betting she can make it there by 11. Outside, she swipes Lucy's pink bike, straps on her helmet, throws her purse in the flowered bike basket and takes off. Just before the break, a time card tells us it's 10:31:10.

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How I Met Your Mother

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