Marshall's date. He can really taste the beef in that lobster. Hee hee. Jeff, wearing a casual sweater, pours some wine and says he has to give Marshall the spiel, just to get it out of the way. He pulls out a paper with a starting salary offer. Marshall knows it's a big number. He looks. "Wow. That is a big number!" Jeff says there's also a starting bonus, a company car and an expense account, but plays it off casually like it's nothing Marshall would care about. Jeff tells Marshall to turn around and wave to Patrick Swayze. Marshall looks. He waves casually. He tries to remain cool. "Patrick Swayze!" Jeff toasts, "Crazy Swayze." Marshall shakes it off and tries to refuse the offer. Jeff smoothly says Marshall should take the NRDC job and live off family money. Marshall only has an uncle with a bait shop. Jeff winces. He says that's fine as long as Marshall's not having kids. Marshall wants four kids. Jeff alludes to scary public schools.
Scary music plays. SagetTed explains that when he's got a problem, he likes to pull out the old Pros and Cons list. We see a hand writing on a yellow legal pad. Pros: Money, Scurity, Swayze. Cons: Evil. SagetTed says there was one thing in the Pros column Marshall didn't know about. Cut to Lily and Robin admiring some clothes she bought. Robin asks how she can afford all this stuff on a kindergarten teacher's salary. Lily lies: she shops the sales. They were in the closet when she moved in. She steals. She once shot a man just to watch him die. She finally confesses. She's got a shoebox full of credit cards. Lily doesn't even know how much she owes. Wow. Sucks to be Lily. Even with the being married to Marshall part, which absolutely rocks.
The porno convention. Ted, standing with Barney, spots a guy from his human resources department. He waves awkwardly. He just wants to find Bizarro Ted and get out. Barney gives a speech about how porno will be appreciated by future generations like Shakespeare. Someday school kids will perform Beef Party VII.
Lily and Robin at the apartment. Lily says she got into debt by shopping whenever she feels down. We see her at a store buying successive pairs of boots after a fight with her mother, her lack of painting and her credit card bill. Lily says Marshall doesn't know. Robin can't believe it. She says Lily even texts Marshall when he's on the can. "I just want him to know I'm rooting for him!" she says. Robin replays all the positive things Lily said about Marshall going on this job interview and encouraging him to go on the dinner date. Robin thinks Lily is pushing Marshall into taking that job. Robin thinks Marshall has to take the job to pay off this debt. She thinks Lily has to tell him. Lily wants to go shopping now.