How I Met Your Mother

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Omar G: B- | 1 USERS: A+
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I'm Not That Guy

At the convention. Ted spots Porno Ted at a table. "Hi Ted Mosby! I'm Ted Mosby!" Porno Ted shakes his hand. Barney, nervous, introduces himself as "Starney Binson." Porno Ted says his real name is Steve and that in 4th grade, when Ted was in 9th, he was getting beaten up. Ted pulled the kids off him and told them to pick on someone their own size. Porno Ted vowed to honor Ted someday. Ted asks if honoring him meant using his name for Welcome To The Sex Truck. Ted, not impressed, asks him not to use his name anymore because he's trying to make a name as an architect. "You mean like a sex architect?" Porno Ted asks. Barney likes that idea: "Ted Mosby, Sex Architect!" Porno Ted was just looking for a new project for next Friday afternoon. Ted asks if there's some other way he could be honored. Porno Ted's dad told him to just plant a tree in Israel. Ted, not wanting to hurt the guy's feelings, says he's not the one who saved him in school. He says it was a guy named Lance Hardwood. Porno Ted says that might work for his line of work. Porno Ted can already see the poster: "Lance Hardwood, Sex Architect...starring Ted Mosby!" Barney loves it.

SagetTed says that Marshall stayed to late on his date with Jeff and had so much to drink, that he had to sleep on Jeff's couch. The next morning, he took part in a Sunday morning tradition "as old as the city itself." Marshall, disheveled, walks home as women in little black dresses pass, all holding their high-heeled shoes in hand. We cut to Marshall, at dinner, saying, "I'll take the job!" Jeff goes, "That's awesome!" On the walk of shame, Jeff calls out to Marshall that he'll call him. A girl with ratty hair says bitterly, "He's not gonna call you."

The apartment. Marshall gets home. Lily is gonna confess. So is Marshall. Before Lily can spit it out, Marshall says he took the job. He apologizes. He says he was drunk and that there were cigars and scotch and Swayze. Also, a lot of money was offered. He shows her the check. Cut to Lily lying down in a sea of expensive boots going, "Wheeee!" Boots keep dropping, though none actually hit her. Feel free to hate Lily after this one. Marshall thinks it's disgusting that he sold out for gross, disgusting money...that could help their future money and pay for law school. But he's guilty about the environment...but it's a lot of money! Marshall finally screams.

At MacLaren's, he's still screaming. Ted is about to suggest the Pros and Cons list, but Marshall threatens him not to. Wendy the waitress brings a legal pad, and Ted pretends it was a mistake. Marshall frets. Barney thinks he should take the money. At the bar, Robin thinks Lily needs to tell Marshall, who is moaning at the booth. She goes to tell him about her debt. She looks at everyone else. She tells Marshall to take the NRDC job. Marshall hugs her and thinks she's right. "I'm going to save the Planet Earth!" he says. He goes to call Jeff. After he leaves, Lily tells Robin that she can't let Marshall be miserable for a mistake she made. Robin notices she's wearing new earrings. "What are you, my mom?" Lily asks.

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How I Met Your Mother

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