Ted starts pulling things out of boxes left and right -- including the English phone booth. He laughs, almost childlike, and runs towards his bedroom with the booty. When Robin asks what he's doing, he says, "Unpacking. I am never leaving this apartment," and the poor thing laughs a little like Renfield. Ted begins unpacking at a furious pace. Lily tries to talk sense to him, but he's afraid he's not ready for all the responsibility, particularly parenting a 7-year-old. You never are, my friend. He's afraid he's going to get married, move to the suburbs and in the blink of an eye, become an old man...

Cut to Barney, wearing his old man get-up, at MacLaren's. He approaches a beautiful woman at the bar and offers her a butterscotch candy. She sneers and turns away from him. Now he's pleading his case with a different young woman. "What do you mean nothing in common? We're both seniors." She rolls her eyes and walks away. Next, he's seated with a new woman, and seems to be making some time with her. She laughs, tells him he's cute, and asks his age. He tells her he's 83, and asks her how old she is. When she says she's 31, he recoils in disgust.

At the apartment, Lily is concerned Ted's cracking up. The movers are coming in ten hours. Stella's waiting for him in Jersey. They have to do something. Meanwhile, Ted's using a knife to slice open all his packed boxes. Marshall says he's got it. He approaches Ted and explains to him that what he's feeling is normal. Big transitions are scary. Cold feet are part of the deal. And it starts to happen, here. Marshall starts to talk himself out of moving. He gets Ted to hand over the knife then yells, "So I can start unpacking, too. I'm staying here, right by your side forever, buddy." They hug and Lily hollers at Marshall. Marshall argues that their lives have been good there, which is why they procrastinated packing. It's safe and warm there. There's a bar downstairs and a cookie robot in the kitchen. This is his home and he's never leaving. He gets all stompy-footed about it, and I wonder if the bar downstairs lost some ceiling plaster. Lily walks off, so it can start to happen to her. Robin tries to talk some sense into Marshall. "You sound like that fat, dweebie kid at camp. Mom, Dad, I want to come home. The kids are playing Keep-Away with my inhaler." Marshall sits down, all dejected. "I can't believe my dad read that letter at our wedding."