Robin says he can't do this to Lily. She knows their new place isn't ideal, with the slanted floors and nearby sewage treatment plant, but they're going to turn it into a great home. Lily shouts from the other side of the room: "It's a black hole where dreams go to die." First world problem? Sure, but there are lots of homeowners who feel that way. Erm... I hear. Lily declares she's not moving, either. Ted and Marshall shout for joy. Lily tells them to finish unpacking. She's going to go bake some cookies to fill R2-Sweet-Tooth. Robin tells them they're cowards afraid of change, desperate to cling to anything comfortable and familiar, and it starts to happen, here. Robin is talking herself out of her move. "I can't move to Japan!" The guys shout for joy again. Robin continues. "What was I thinking? It's so far away, I don't speak the language -- I don't even have any good pictures of you guys!" Lily hugs her and Marshall says, "Everyone says change is so great, but what's so great about change?" I wonder who he's voting for? Ted suggests they walk down to their same old bar, sit in their regular booth and order the usual. They're in a frenzy now, and agree, rushing out the door and down to MacLaren's, where...

They find Barney making out with a beautiful young blonde. They all feel sickened at the sight. Barney says, "Well, well, well. I believe someone owes me $200.00." I love how he took a little scoffing from Marshall, turned it into a challenge, and then turned it into a sizeable bet. Marshall starts to refute the idea, but Barney interrupts, saying this proves he'll be this awesome when he's 80. He reaches his arm up and out, his hand twisted a bit like a claw. "Arthritis five." No one high fives him, but he does not leave his arm extended for the rest of the show. Ted looks around, smiles, and says, "I'm moving to New Jersey." When Lily questions him, he says she and Marshall should move to their new place and Robin should go to Japan. "We're going to get older whether we like it or not, so the only question is whether we get on with our lives, or desperately cling to the past..." he points at Barney, "And end up like that." Still in old-man character, Barney says, "You mean awesome? I'm 80, dude, and I'm making out with a 22-year-old." The woman walks up behind him. "Take me to your place, cheri. I want to see your World War II medals." Barney says, "In a minute, mon petit." Marshall says, "All right, so, that doesn't count." When Barney asks why, Robin says, "She's French; that's like playing tennis with the net down." Dear French readers, direct your complaints to CBS, not moi, s'il vous plaǐt.