Saget!Ted narrates that this went on for a while, as we see the couple fast-forward to different spots in their living room [A time-worn classic! - Zach], until Marshall presents his final scenario. "Our two kids, our eight grandkids, our eleven great-grandkids are all on a plane, piloted by Oprah! And it's about to crash into an art museum, with all of your favorite paintings, and the only way -- the only way to save everything is to just... to just answer the question. Are you the reacher or the settler?" Lily pauses to consider and then looks at Marshall. "And Oprah's tried everything?" Yep. Finally, she says, "I guess... if I had to say, then maybe I'd say I'm the settler." Marshall screams, "How could you say that?" Damn Lily, he's right. This reacher/settler thing, by the way, has a lot of fans up in arms, because Marshall Eriksen is... well he's Marshall Eriksen, right? He's a good boyfriend in his sleep. He can rock a killer foot-rub with one hand and brew a kick-ass pot of Chamomile in the other that would make you weep. Hell, he's forgotten more about microwaving fat-free popcorn and watching Sandra Bullock movies than most guys will ever know. You know? That said, while Ted and Robin (and Lily-under-duress) say Lily is the settler, I don't think that's where the show is going with this, so I'm kind of enjoying it.
MacLaren's: Marshall is not enjoying it. He's furious that Lily thinks she's the settler. He tells Barney and Ted that he has to find a way to make Lily jealous. Barney says, "Well that's easy. Here's the plan. Step 1: Sleep with Jenkins. Step 2: I sleep with Jenkins, first. Step 3: We do Step 2 first. I'm gonna go get started on Step 2." He then does his flail-y little run out of the bar, so NPH can get back behind the camera. Poo. Want more NPH. Wait. Here's the plan. Step 1: Clone NPH. Step 2: Put original NPH behind the camera and Clone NPH in front of it (or vice versa, whichever original NPH prefers). Step 3: Engineer the clone, such that it's straight and attracted to slightly older women. Science can do that, right? Genome and all that blah blah blah. Step 4: Send me the clone. Step 5: Crap, now there's only one NPH on the show again. Step 6: Repeat Step 1 as needed. Step 7: Sell NPH clones. Step 8: Something. Step 9: World domination. I'm gonna get started on the straight clone... just as soon as someone sends him over. *Flail.* Ahem. Fine, be that way. Step 10: DRINK!