Back at the apartment, Barney and Marshall explain to Ted that Arthur always fires the people he doesn't know, and since he can't remember Marshall from one minute to the next -- well, that's Marshall's excuse for smoking. Marshall says he's only had two, so as long as he doesn't have a third in 24 hours, he won't get hooked again. Right. And then we get a montage of the system Marshall employs to hide his smoking from Lily. He smokes up on Ted's roof, wearing only his underwear and a T-shirt. He then showers at Ted's. After he's out of the shower, he scrubs his tongue with a loofah (gag -- I hope it's brand-new) and then spritzes himself (and his poor, raw tongue) with cologne. We cut to...

Dowistrepla: A clean and shiny Marshall enters the apartment. "Hey, Lil!" She doesn't look at him -- doesn't even look up from her book. "You smoked." Marshall's all, "Damn it!"

Come On, GET UP New York! set: Robin's thrilled to be going on the air with "a real pro," but it turns out Don is mostly a professional screw-up. He bungles words, and lets the teleprompter get ahead of him as he admits to having a "brain fart" on the air. When they go to commercial, Robin asks him what the hell that was. Don's jaded. This is his 39th local program, and he's learned three things during his career: "Avoid the all-you-can-eat sushi buffet in Bismark, do not go to the bathroom with your lapel mic still on..." Please. "...and three -- at this hour, your entire viewing audience is one half-drunk slob, sitting in his underwear." Right after Robin says they'll do a good job for that half-drunk slob, they go back on the air, at which time Don stands and stretches to reveal he's only wearing his skivvies from the waste down. "Well, that half-drunk slob appreciates it." Is this what it's like for Mika Brzezinski on the set of Morning Joe?