After Marshall's dad died, all of his friends go with him to Minnesota for the funeral. Lily found her role in being Marshall's mom's bitch (giving her someone to yell at and hate was what finally got her eating and sleeping), Robin was the vice girl (with a bag of drugs, firecrackers, booze, and even a copy of Crocodile Dundee III -- because she wanted to be able to provide Marshall with anything he might need to feel better. And Ted and Barney think their role is to make Marshall laugh, so the spend the episode finding online videos of people getting kicked in the nuts. It doesn't work, so Barney kicks Ted in the nuts. That also doesn't work.
Marshall's dad's substitute reverend (and Marshall's bully, hilariously played by Jonathan from Buffy, who's at least a foot and a half shorter than Jason Segel) tells Marshall and his family to think of last words, so they all do. Everyone else's is special and wonderful, but Marshall remembers his dad saying "Plane food is ass." Then he remembers him yelling some vaguely racist comments up from the street as they were leaving Marshall's. Then he remembers going downstairs, where his dad recommended he rent Crocodile Dundee III, which I'm sure you all remember is actually Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles.
Then Marshall gets his phone all charged up (remember he didn't have it last episode? Turns out it was just out of batteries) and realizes his dad left him a voicemail. He won't listen, because Crocodile Dundee III is good enough, and might be better. Then his family talks at the funeral about their last moments, and he goes outside to listen. The gang follows him, and he says it was a pocket dial, which he plays on speakerphone as he talks about how unfair life is, and yells at God. Then his dad pipes up and tells him he just realized he's pocket-dialed him. Then he tells him they had a great time at his place, and he loves him. Marshall gets all choked up about those being his dad's last words to him, until his dad says something about foot cream for his fungus. Marshall repeats that "I love you" were his dad's last words to him, but then goes inside to the funeral and talks about renting Crocodile Dundee III. He keeps the touching stuff for himself, and instead makes everyone at the funeral laugh. His mom thanks Lily, because she realized what she was doing all along (she throws in one last insult, but promises it was the last one).
When they're all back at the Ericksons' home, Marshall stands up and tells them all that if he never comes back these will be his last words: "I really, really love you guys. And now I'm going to take a deuce." He leaves, and everyone calls their own dads to get in some good just-in-case-they're-the-last-words time. And Barney calls his mom: He's ready to meet his dad. Which is the perfect place to go with this plot.
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There's no scene before the ba-ba-ba opening, so we know they mean business. Then Saget!Ted tells us, his "kids," that when your best friend loses someone (short flash to sad Lily and Marshall from last episode), you drop everything to be there. Only to stand there with no idea what to do or say. Ted, Barney, Robin and Lily all stand around at the funeral. Ted wonders what they can do to help, and Lily says not to ask her; this morning she actually peed for Marshall, which she then realized didn't make sense. Robin's cool, though. She knows her role at funerals: vice girl. She brought a bag filled with anything that might make Marshall feel better: drugs, cigarettes, booze, firecrackers. They're all impressed, and oohing and ahhing until Robin's like, "Be cool, nerds." And I'm like, "Who do you think you are, Scherbatsky? Tina Fey?" Lily tells them all how sad Marshall's mom's been, and how she hasn't eaten or slept. Then Lily realizes her role is to take care of her. And, no, it doesn't matter that she and Judy aren't "besties."
Barney epiphanies that he and Ted should make Marshall laugh today, and the way to do this is by showing him a video of someone getting hit in the nuts. Barney says they need to get a "four-star nad-rattler," so he puts Ted on "knees, feet, fire hydrants and diving boards" and keeps "bats, rackets, hockey sticks, golf clubs and riding crops." Ted asks what about animals? (And, really, what about animals? When do animals kick people in the nuts?) Barney gives Ted "claws, paws, talons" and himself, "hooves, beaks and clenched monkey fists." Marshall comes up and says his phone's out of juice and he left his charger somewhere. Robin asks him if he needs outlet or USB and pulls the charger he needs from her bag. Not exactly a vice, but still, it's something that will make his day better, so well-played on her part. Ted tells Robin she's like Mary Poppins, if her magic purse was filled with drugs. Robin's like, "If?!" Because, really, Ted: Have you seen Mary Poppins?
The reverend tells Judy how sorry he is for her loss, but then says he unfortunately cannot lead the services today: His daughter in Chicago just went into labor. But he's leaving him in the capable hands of his second-in-command: his son, Trey. [Who has less of a vested interest, apparently, in the arrival of new family members. - Zach] He goes to grab him, and Marshall tells his friends that Trey Platt was the toughest bully in school, and he terrorized Marshall growing up. Just then, Danny Strong, at least a foot shorter than Marshall, walks up behind him and says hey. He's the bully, which is amusing, but mostly pointless in the scheme of the episode other than to be a continuous short joke/Marshall is a wimp joke.