SagetTed narrates that he began to date Stacy (our pal Janet). We see them watching TV, cooking, and buying flowers together. Apparently, Ted really likes her. Inside MacLaren's, Ted is talking to her on his cell and telling her to have fun at yoga. Ted is pleased that she's strengthening her core. He gives her an "After a while crocodile." After he's off the phone, he shows Barney his game face. Ted is actually excited that she plays bass in a reggae band. Barney mimes the beat of every single reggae song ever. Marshall shows up. He's been crunching numbers of how many times he and Lily have had sex. Apparently they had sex 17 times on their honeymoon. Was that online? The number is 1,053 and a half times. The half was when they were interrupted by a phone call from his mom. Marshall thinks he wins on numbers and quality. "Lawyered," he declares. Barney says it doesn't count. Ted thinks it counts. As one. He asks Marshall how it was having sex once. Marshall says desperately that he still matters. Not in this episode, unfortunately.
Barney tries to get into Ted's head by telling him that Stacy is a wonderful girl; he says he should know. Barney points out that they're sharing a woman and that there've only been about 200 showers since he was with her. Hasn't it been a year? That seems a little on the low side, even for someone in a reggae band. Ted says he doesn't mind. Marshall compares Stacy to Mount Everest and its supple peak. He says Ted will be kissing what he's already kissed, nuzzling what he's already nuzzled and making blubber noises where he's already made them. Ted says he's not afraid of Barney's cooties. Barney offers a sip of his gin and tonic. Ted won't drink it. Barney says he only stirred that with his pinky. Er, gross. Y'all, he's talking about his wang!
Apartment. Robin enters, announcing to Lily that kids love her. She tells Lily that she and George's kid are getting along. But now they have to break up because it's getting too serious with the kid. Lily shows Robin a picture that the kid drew in class. It says, "My New Mommy." D'oh! Robin insists it's not her; the woman in the drawing has hoop earrings. Lily insists it's Robin. She thinks Robin is just looking for a reason to bail. Robin wants to ask the rest of the group.