Flashback to Christmas 2005. As Ted reads his family card, Barney filks a filthy version of "Jingle Bells": Pulling down her pants / Yanking off my own / Underneath the mistletoe / I'll make your sister moan / Oh! Heather's hot, Heather's hot / And we'll go all the way...
Flash to Christmas to 2006. As Ted reads his family card, Barney sings a filthy version of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas": I wish I could see her naked / I wish I could see her naked / I wish I could see her naked / And down on all fours. Ted elbows Barney in the gut.
Flash to Christmas 2007. Ted, Lily and Marshall are sitting in the apartment living room. Barney walks up behind Ted and takes his card from him, and performs a filthy rendition of "The Dreidel Song": Ted has a little sister / Gets hotter every day / And if I ever meet her / With her boobies I will play! "Everybody!" Sister, sister, sister... Barney stops. "What? I can celebrate Hanukkah, too." So, Barney's a cultural Woo, too? Who knew?
Back in the present, at MacLaren's, Ted gets another call from Barney, so he answers it. When Barney wants to know their plans for the night, Ted says, "Oh, we're heading over to Marshall and Lily's, for a Kathy Bates movie marathon, but not Misery. You wanna join us...?" We hear a click. "Oh. He hung up." No lie, my husband and I saw Misery on our first date. Yes. [My wife and I saw Monster. - Zach]
The gang laughs and just then Heather walks in, because we only have about 20 minutes left, y'all. Ted asks Heather how things are back home. She tells him she moved into his old room. "Did you know that you can see straight into Mrs. Gottwald's bedroom across the street?"
Ted: "Oh, yes. I am aware of that. How's she looking?"
Heather: "Ted, she's 62."
Ted: "Answer the question."
Heather: "Surprisingly perky." Ew. Draw your blinds, Mrs. Gottwald.
The gang returns to Ted's place making small chat. When they open the door, there is a new black chair placed prominently in the living room. A voice says, "Why, hello." Barney spins around to face them, holding a brandy snifter the way you do. "I've been waiting for you." Heh. Very Bond. And yet? Very prop comic. Barney brought the chair (because he needed one that swivels). Still in Bond mode, he introduces himself to Heather, while Ted fumes.