How I Met Your Mother

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A Prairie Home Companion

Marshall quietly confronts Robin about stealing his story, but she's oblivious; she's so happy the crowd ate it up. Marshall's pissed, now. He explains he brought Robin to the Walleye as a favor -- out of pity, and now she's trying to steal his bar. Robin denies this. "You think I'm trying to steal your bar? Oh, get oat."

Number One overhears this accent-slip and laughingly accuses her of being Canadian. When she denies it, he announces to the bar, "You want to impersonate a Canadian? Just turn of the lights and get all scared!" This confounds Robin, so Marshall explains to her that with Canada just across the border, Minnesotans sometimes make Canadian jokes. Since it still makes no sense, Marshall says, "Well, where does any prejudice come from, Robin? A stereotype starts, and all of a sudden it spreads like wildfire -- like Asians can't drive; Scotsmen are cheap; Brazilians always put on way too much postage." Okay? He then tries to manipulate her into taking umbrage at the whole thing, so that he can hustle her out of the bar.

Robin stops. "No, wait, I have something to say. Hey, everybody. Let me tell you something about people from Canada." Marshall begs her not to make a scene. She ignores him. "Do you know why Canadians never get a birthday wish?" She looks around the bar, and her eyes reflect the warmth she already feels for it. "Because they're too afraid to blow out the candles." Everyone laughs and Robin expresses her love for the bar on her way out the door.

Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze. -- Garrison Keillor

At MacLaren's, Lily and Ted sit facing Heather and Barney, he's got his arm draped around the back of the booth, and begins an entendre-laden conversation about her prospects at GNB. "You certainly made it clear you're willing to take any position." While Lily tries to derail him with talk about the coasters, Heather holds in her laughter. Barney says, "Well, I hope you get the job. Nothing gives me more pleasure than filling an opening." More coaster talk from Lily as Ted struggles against his urge to explode. Heather tells Barney, "Well, I am willing to bend over backwards." Barney chuckles.

Ted slams the table. '99 NFC Championship, Ted? "And okay, that's it! I cannot believe you had sex with my sister!" Okeee. Not so much, no. Barney acts surprised as he accuses Lily (who, guess what, can't keep a secret at Christmas) of blabbing. Lily says she's just going to check out her coaster theory with the bartender, but as she rises, Ted pulls her back into the booth by her arm. He then turns his attention to Heather. "And you, you're mature and responsible now? Is it mature and responsible to go to your first big job interview in New York City and nail a total stranger? You've always been immature and irresponsible. You will always be immature and irresponsible. And I wouldn't co-sign a library card for you, let alone a lease." Yikes, harsh much? And in front of other people? That's just douchey, Ted. Maybe even douchay.

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How I Met Your Mother

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