Ted's all worried about some article Zoey somehow got into a newspaper about how he wants to destroy The Arcadian, since she calls him and his friends "fat cats." They are so not fat cats, agree tuxedoed-up Marshall and Barney, as they all prepare to go to a big GNB fete at the Natural History Museum. Arthur introduces the gang to his college friend The Captain (not his real name, but he thinks every man should give himself his own name; Ted dubs himself Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville), who also happens to be married to Zoey. She's at this big fancy shindig, too, and Ted thinks it's pretty hypocritical. Then they wind up in the bug room together, where she fake-cries and manipulates him into talking bad about GNB. She was recording the whole thing, and would have used it, too, if she didn't later overhear Ted sticking up for her in a conversation with The Captain (who was willing to erase the tape for Ted, because he thinks his wife's just throwing a temper tantrum). The episode ends with Zoey and Ted dancing in the museum; she tells him she erased the tape because she'll beat him fair and square. They gaze into each other's eyes. Might she actually be the mother?
Barney and Robin spend the whole episode in a contest of who can be the biggest rule-breaker and touch the most objects at the museum -- based on a childhood remembrance Barney has of knocking down the blue whale, which Robin doesn't believe. They get caught by security, and the legendary tale of a six-year-old knocking down the blue whale is confirmed. The security guard looks it up, and it was Barney, whose "father" signed the papers to release him into his custody. Barney then realizes the man he thought was his Uncle Jerry was his dad -- and that was the last day he saw him. He asks Robin not to tell anyone else. And, in another part of the museum, Lily pines for a sandwich-eating, world-saving Marshall who no longer exists, but is stuck with the corporate one (who we learn will also go extinct one day).
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Saget!Ted tells us, his future kids, about one day when he was reading the newspaper in 2010. I find it hopeful that, in this future world, his children understand what a newspaper is without having to have it explained. Anyway, said newspaper contains an op-ed by Zoey, all about what a big mean jerk he is. I paused on it, and it's actually a pretty standard-looking newspaper story (though more boring), but I will type -- for your pleasure -- the one paragraph about Ted (the rest is about general architecture being destroyed by business, blah, blah, blah GNB cakes).
"The unwelcome new addition to midtown of a garish, glass and steel monolith is made all the worse by the unsightly billboard on the front of the egocentric architect of destruction, Ted Mosby. Mosby chose to dress in a wizard's costume for the banner, taunting the entire city, as if the destruction of lives and history is nothing more than a jovial costume party for him. This fat-cat architect has forgotten the whole point of his architectural training is to create, not destroy. But I'm sure it's easy to forget your purpose while you're getting drunk of [sic] champagne and power."
I will also note that Ted says the piece ran on a Saturday, but the folio at the top of the page I paused on says "Sunday, Nov. 6, 2010." Anyway, it's crossword puzzle day (so why not say Sunday? That would be more accurate in New York anyway) for "Dad," as he tells us kids, and this op-ed piece Zoey wrote ran on the same page as his puzzle, totally ruining his day. Ted tells Barney and Marshall how absurd it is that she singled him out and called him and his friends "fat cats." Well, technically, that's not what she wrote, but okay. Barney and Marshall, suited up in tuxes, agree, and get all British about it as they toast their Scotches "to industry!" Saget!Ted admits they weren't the skinniest of felines that night. But that's just because they were going to the Natural History Museum's Autumn Spectacular, attended by some of the most important and powerful people in New York, and now them -- thanks to Goliath National Bank.
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