Barney and Robin are still touching the garment, and Barney can't reach his Scotch. Robin has hers, though, and tells him how great it is. Barney says this is ridiculous, and they shouldn't stand here and do this while they're in such an amazing place. She agrees, and they both let go. Then he asks if she wants to go touch a bunch of stuff. She does -- they are so perfect for each other -- so we get a montage of them touching a stuffed moose, a fossilized turtle, and a stuffed lion. That could have been better.
Ted asks The Captain how he got his name, and he says he gave it to himself. "A real man chooses his own name." That's new. Ted introduces himself as "Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville." Zoey says it's actually Ted, and The Captain says, "Capital." Then he tells his "honey" that he may cut out early to check up on the boat. Of course there's a boat. Ted wants to hear more, so The Captain tells him she's an 80-foot sloop; he asks Ted if the sea calls to him like it does to him. Ted says that the sea does, indeed, ask him to hang out. The Captain says he likes Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville, then says he should come on the boat some time. He leaves, and Ted sighs that he wishes he were that close with his dad. Zoey says if he wants to make this personal, she will go back to destroying him. He says if he wanted to make it personal, he'd call her "a bored little trophy wife who likes to play activist when the shops on Fifth Avenue are closed." She says he's going down, and he wonders if she means down to the Yacht Club, because he'd love to, but he's half-Jewish -- will that be a problem?
Marshall and Lily are talking on one side of the magical whispering room. She wonders about their dream to save the world, and he says that was a great dream, but now they have a mortgage and are trying to have kids. They're grown-ups now. She wonders what College Him would say if he could hear him right now, and Marshall says, "Honestly? Probably something pretentious." Marshall says they all change: She no longer spells "women" with a Y, and he's okay with that (I'm guessing he's pretty thrilled about that, honestly, because there is no excuse for poor spelling), and he needs her to be okay with him never becoming an environmental lawyer. She asks how long he's felt this way, and he admits it's been ever since his first day at GNB. Ted whispers from across the room at various inopportune moments of this conversation (so I guess he can't hear them back?): "wieners" then "wieners and gonads" then "boogers" then "Hershey squirts." Lily walks off, upset at Marshall (I think, though it could just as easily be at Ted).