How I Met Your Mother

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DeAnn Welker: N/A | 1 USERS: B-
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The Captain and Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville

Robin and Barney grab some hors d'oeuvres while she's holding a stuffed penguin. Then Ted finds Zoey again somewhere, and makes fun of the guy she's talking to, who's wearing a monocle. He asks if this is for real, so she drags him away. On his way out, he wishes Monocle good luck killing James Bond. She takes him to a room filled with bugs and spiders on the walls behind them. And even though they're likely fake, and are in my TV, I have an extremely hard time looking at the TV while this scene is on. Luckily, it's more talking than action, so I don't need to see much. He wants her to leave him the hell alone so he can have crossword day back and she can go back to her perfect life. She says her life isn't perfect and he's mean, so she cries. He scoffs: "Like that's going to get my sympathy." Saget!Ted: "It did."

Marshall's followed Lily into a less crowded, less whispery place, where she points out that every time she's asked him if he wanted to work for NRDC since he's worked at GNB, he's lied. He says that's not technically true. She's asked him questions, and he has responded with made-up words. Side flash to her asking him about it, and him saying "Affirmatootly" and then "Yepskerdoodles." He makes up a long word I can in no way write that starts out with "Positi..." when she asks if he likes her scarf. Ha. Back at the museum, he says, "Lawyered." She's annoyed, because that's also a made-up word. He asks what she wants from him, and she says she wants him to be the person she fell in love with. She walks away from him, both looking sad.

Robin, with a spear and a fur draped over her, walks around looking for Barney. He's back with the Egyptian garment, but now he's wearing it, headpiece and all. He walks like an Egyptian and brags: "Niled it!" That's when the security guard finds them, and is all, "Ahem. Excuse me." Barney hilariously points out what Robin's doing, as if he's done nothing wrong himself and the guy won't notice the Egyptian garb. Back in the bug room, Zoey continues to cry about how she got married at 22 to someone who calls himself "The Captain." Ted points out the positive: He seems like a good guy, and he wears those red pants. She hates boats, though, and even gets seasick. She says she wants to save the Arcadian, because she sees something big and solid when she looks at it. (That's what she said.) She says the rest of her life just feels like she's on a boat. As if that's ever a bad thing. She knows that's crazy, but Ted says it's not and admits the Arcadian should be a landmark. He hates that they have to tear it down, and hates working for GNB. "They're a bunch of wieners and gonads." Zoey says that was really easy, and plays the tape she's been recording in her purse back to him. She says it should be useful. Saget!Ted pictures a story about this on his next crossword page. She tells him that his ass just got bugged in the bug room. She gets up to leave and tells him that he simply must come out on the boat sometime. Dude, she even lies about seasickness? Is nothing sacred?

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How I Met Your Mother

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