How I Met Your Mother
Not A Father's Day

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Having My Baby
Barney is unimpressed with the talent at MacLaren's tonight. "And the more I drink, the less attractive they get. I am one scotch and soda away from the Cantina scene in Star Wars. Watch it, Barney. You keeping going in that direction and you'll end up talking yourself into marriage. Ted points out six attractive young women occupying the rounded booth in the corner. Barney says they're not hot. Lily disagrees. She knows they're hot because she hated them as soon as she spotted them. "In fact, I hated them almost as much as I hated Robin when I first met her." In her savant-like way, I think she just nailed Barney's issue with the talent. They're not Robin. Robin says, "You hated me?" Lily replies, "A lot." Robin, who is looking particularly hot tonight, is touched. Marshall thinks the women are hot, too. Barney's disgusted at his friends' lack of discernment, and tells them they've just become victims of the Cheerleader Effect. "The Cheerleader Effect is when a group of women seems hot - but only as a group. Just like with cheerleaders - they seem hot, but take each one of them individually? Sled dogs." When Ted says that's insane, Barney encourages everyone to take a good, hard look at each woman. And oh, my. Sled dogs on the way to Hell. The last one shown is played by Jason Segal, and you know all I can think is that I'm grateful I don't have to look at his real hair for a moment (although it looks better in the cold open than in most of the episode). Marshall and Lily both agree that last one is kind of cute. Hee.

On the way from the barstools to their table, Barney lists some permutations of The Cheerleader Effect: "The Bridesmaid Paradox; Sorority Girl Syndrome; and for a brief window in the Nineties, the Spice Girls Conspiracy. Scary Spice, indeed." Oh c'mon. Who's scarier than Posh? Once they're seated, Barney's phone rings. After intentionally mumbling his name, he has a short conversation. "Oh, hi! Okay. Got it. Great, we'll be in touch." After he hangs up, he simply says, "Huh." Ted says, "What?" Barney says, "Apparently, I'm going to be a dad."

Theme song!

That kept your ass on the couch, didn't it? Ted says, "What do you mean you're going to be a dad? How did this happen?" How do you think, Ted? Oh - look, Robin's giving him the "How do you think, Ted?" look. Thanks, Robin. Barney explains it was some girl he hooked up with a few weeks back. She's not sure yet; she's going to the doctor in the morning. The more interesting story, and the one we never hear, would be how this woman got Barney's real name and phone number. Lily suggests the pregnancy could just be a false alarm, but Barney's ego won't hear of it. "Lily, no part of Barney Stinson does anything less than 110%." Oh, Barney, don't be that guy. I don't mean with the women; I'm a realist. I mean with that 110% garbage. You get 100 or less, you hear? "If one of my little Michael Phelpses got loose - he's swimming for the gold." Voice shaking, Barney stands. "Oh, this is a nightmare. I don't want kids. Who in their right mind would want ever kids?" Hand to forehead, he walks out of the bar.

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How I Met Your Mother

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