Cut to Lily cooking up a storm. Marshall calls. "Hey babe, it's breakfast time in China." Lily puts on a sexy voice. "Yeah it is." Marshall says, "Not a euphemism. I--wait, what would that even mean?" Lily says, "I don't know. Hot buns, spicy pork - there' something there. You're not coming home tonight, are you?" Marshall, much like my youngest child, shakes his head no, even though he's communicating via telephone. Lily says, "Are you shaking your head 'no'?" Marshall nods his head yes. Lily says, "I thought so." These two are so cute I could eat them with a spoon.
Nighttime at Dowistrepla. Lily's drinking a big old glass of red wine. Since Marshall aborted their dinner plans (bad word choice?) she has invited Robin and Ted over to get their input on the big decision, but she can't get out the word "baby" and keeps talking about her plans with Marshall for "dinner" and not knowing whether she's ready for "dinner." When Ted says he had an early lunch so he's ready for dinner, Lily blurts out that dinner is a baby. Ted's still ready. Robin gasps and clutches her hand to her chest. "Lily, that's horrible!" Is Robin already drunk? Lily explains she needs their help in figuring out if she and Marshall are ready to have a baby. Ted says they can't make the decision for her - it's huge. Robin says, "You know what else is huge? Marshall's head. That thing's the size of a late August watermelon. Marshall's baby coming through there? Yowza!" Instinctively, I cross my legs. Ted gives Robin a look and asks Lily what Marshall thinks. Robin's on fire tonight. "Probably a lot in that 1950s space helmet of a head he's walking around with." Lily explains that Marshall only seems to see the cute side of having babies, while Lily's been getting insider information on the hard parts, from the strung out, sleep-deprived, sex-deprived, adult-conversation deprived, tear-stained mother Charlotte, which explains Lily's look when Jeremy bewitched Marshall with his stray sock and naked baby toes. Lily pours herself another big glass of wine as she frets that she's going to be more strung out than Charlotte, whose husband works at home - dealing pot - but he's a very involved parent. Oh, dear. She's afraid with Marshall's work load that all the baby work will fall on her.
Barney and a couple of co-workers, all with beers, find Marshall in the conference room, setting up for the meeting. Barney announces that Not A Father's Day is a hit. He's even set up a website where people can get T-shirts, mugs, greeting cards, and God bless the creators, they've done it again. Check out NotAFathersDay.com (sponsored by GNB, no less).