At GNB, Marshall carries Lily back into his office. She's dressed in his suit jacket. She says she's bored, and wants to go dancing. "Or, let's rob a liquor store." Marshall says they're not going anywhere. "Whenever we go somewhere when you're drunk, you always fall asleep as soon as we get in the..." The music of I've Got A Brilliant Idea plays as Marshall gets a brilliant idea. Cut to outside. Marshall puts Lily in a cab and I think he's going to leave her there and go back to his presentation, but no. She scoots over rambling about partying all night long. We jump ahead a few minutes and she's snoring. Marshall whispers to the cabbie. "Hey, can you circle the block a couple of times, just to make sure she's really down?" I hope so, because this was a pretty good episode, except for the heavy-handedness of the Drunks Are Just Like Babies parallels, and I'm ready for it to be put to bed, aren't you?
At MacLaren's, Barney joins Robin and Ted and tells them about his latest Not A Father's Day brainstorm. "A pregnancy test, but instead of a little blue line, there's a little blue Barney going like this." He gives double thumbs up and smiles. You can see a prototype on the website. Ted says, "Barney, Not A Father's Day is lame. It's a holiday for losers." Barney disagrees. He thinks his new gang of bros are cool, 'til Robin and Ted point out he's just fallen victim to the latest permutation of the Cheerleader Effect. At Robin's bidding, he looks at each guy individually. They're every bit as fugly as the women in the cold open, and again, the last one is played by Jason Segal, and OH MY EYES! OKAY, OKAY, OKAY! I'll try to stop bitching so much about Marshall's hair. Just turn it off. I get it. I get it. Things could be worse. Uncle. Make it go away. Make it stop. Jason's hair is nearly gone in this scene, but what's there is long, stringy, greasy as hell, and straight as a stick. He's sucking on a lollipop and picking a hair or lint or something out of his mouth. Oh, the humanity. My brain is broken. I only hope it was in service of convincing Segal that he needs a new 'do. Robin points out, that these "geniuses aren't childless by choice, my friend." Once they've convinced him, Robin and Ted take off. Barney grimaces as he looks to his cult members, and then turns toward the table, where he finds Jeremy's sock, which casts its spell over poor, unsuspecting Barney. "Sock!"
The next day, Lily makes Marshall a special breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes (which do nothing for me - too much sweetness) and bacon (yum) to atone for her drunken behavior. She apologizes profusely and explains she was just freaking out about whether they were ready to be parents. "But you took such good care of me, I know you're going to be a great dad." Marshall closes his eyes for a second, then looks up at his wife. "I don't want to be a dad, right now." He confesses that it was too much balancing work with "Drunk baby Lily" (in case you missed the parallels - which I can only imagine happening if you didn't watch the show, and skipped to this paragraph of the weecap). "I've just started this job, and I'm working such long hours. I mean..." Let's hope you still have a job, my friend. Marshall tells Lily he loves her and that he wants to have kids someday, but just wants to be ready for it. Lily agrees, because the magical sock of enthrallment is no longer in their apartment. She adds that when they are ready for it she knows Marshall is going to be amazing. Marshall says, "You, too." They kiss and Lily suggests they go have completely protected sex right now. Marshall agrees. Lily says, "Do you want to finish your bacon first?" Marshall looks into her eyes with great intent. "You are the perfect woman." My husband laughs and we fade to black.