Ted's Apartment: Barney: "I couldn't be more unhappy." In so many words, he complains that J.Lo's character is a big tease. Ted gets to say the episode title: "It sounds like she read that book, Of Course You're Still Single: Take a Look at Yourself, You Dumb Slut." I'll save you my rant about the use of the word slut and related terms on TV. It's enough that you know it's lurking inside me, and it's starting to resemble the darkness growing inside Sayid. When Ted grabs a copy of the book off the side table, Marshall, Lily and Barney heckle him, even though he explains it's Robin's copy. WHOA! Robin owns a book meant to help single girls find husbands? Do tell, Show. Nope. Show goes right on, I suppose, because, it must....

Ted flips through Dumb Slut's pages, and asks Barney if the new dame seemed to subtly slip the word "sex" into the conversation. In a flashback, J.Lo substitutes "inter-sex-ion" for "intersection"; "having a couple of sex" for "having a couple of secs"; "it totally sex" for "it totally sucks"; and "horse sexcrement" for "horse excrement." And, Of Course, flashback Barney is practically drowning in his own drool. Back in the apartment, Ted then asks if the new dame made excuses to establish physical contact. In the flashback, she does just that, feeling up his suit. (See quotes at the end.) Back in the apartment, Ted instructs Barney on the final test necessary to determine if she's familiar with Dumb Slut. "Next time you see her, ask her out for the following night. The book says that's forbidden, so she'll probably give you some lame excuse, like this..." In a split screen, with Ted on the left and J.Lo on the right, they simultaneously say: "Ooh, I can't do anything tomorrow night. I've already made plans to clean my garbage disposal and treat myself to a bubble bath. But, how about next week, sometime?" We jump forward to...