The conceit for this episode's setup is that Marshall's still at the Eriksen home in Minnesota, so the whole story is told to him over the phone by various members of our gang. They narrate instead of Saget!Ted, which is sort of a fun change, actually. Marshall's there in the first scene, when Robin cooked dinner for the gang (including Zoey). Only, really, "cooked" is the wrong word. "Burned" or "ruined" are more apt. The gang didn't see Zoey again after that until sometime while Marshall was in Minnesota, so he's getting this story along with us. Basically, Ted called Zoey because he missed her, but mostly he wanted a date with the hot cousin she promised to introduce him to. She agrees, and sets it up -- only it's not so much a date as the whole gang hanging out with Ted and Zoey's hot cousin, Katy Perry. She's hot, as you know, but also very very gullible. To the point that when she tells you something she's actually believed, you reply, "Oh, honey." Hence the episode title.
Anyway, Honey wants to go home with Ted, but he can't do it and lets Barney have her. The reason Ted can't do it? He's in love with Zoey. Uh-oh. When Barney tells Zoey the next day that he, not Ted, hooked up with Honey, Zoey's so happy she hugs him. Because... she's in love with Ted, too, right? Problem is, she's married. So Ted ultimately tells her he can't be her friend, but says it's because Lily hates her. Lily's not happy about it, and then goes along, but ultimately can't be mean, so she says it's actually that Robin hates her. Robin tells her that Marshall hates her. Finally, this leads her back to Ted, as she assumes he hates her. He tries to tell her he does, and is getting all mean about the reasons why in the hallway when Marshall gets a call from Honey (Barney's into disposable phones and left one in her trash), who tells him that Zoey and the Captain are getting a divorce. Marshall and his eavesdropping family decide they just MUST tell Zoey and Ted what's up. So Marshall calls Zoey and tells her. She's happy, but keeps listening to Ted's reasons for hating her. Then Marshall calls Ted and tells him. They kiss. So Marshall calls the neighbor, who lets him know they're kissing. Cheers at the Eriksen house. And, really, it's contrived because we knew it was coming even though they created an awesome obstacle in the form of Kyle MacLachlan, but they're sort of cute. I'll take it. She can be the mother. Although I'm not sure how that plays into the season-opening wedding incident, but I guess we'll see.
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Saget!Ted tells us that Marshall stayed in Minnesota to take care of his mother after his dad's death, and the longer he stayed the more he went back to being Minnesota Marshall. For instance, he answers the phone with "Eriksen residence. Marshall speaking." Robin, on the other end, laughs and makes fun of him for being such a polite Minnesotan again. He asks her what's up in New York, and she says there is this one thing... about Ted and Zoey. Saget!Ted backs us up to his history with Zoey: Arcadian, protests, the Captain, friendship. Which, Saget!Ted says, brings us to the night Aunt Robin decided to cook dinner. Close-up of charred food on the table (why put it on the table once it's burned like that?). It's December 2010. The gang's all in the kitchen, including Marshall. And Zoey. Robin thought the oven was Celsius. Ted says it's okay, since they have hot dogs. Lily takes a page from Friends and heads to the bathroom to eat hers. Barney just hopes he can pass his. Zoey and Ted, meanwhile, drop the ketchup and flirt over who's going to go out and get a new bottle. She offers to set him up with her hot cousin, and he volunteers to get it. Ba ba ba ba ba da da-da-da-da DA.
Robin continues telling Marshall what's what: After that night, no one heard from Zoey for a while, until Ted called her and wondered if they'd ever see her again because they miss her. And, also, HOT COUSIN promise. She apparently agrees, because we cut to MacLaren's, where the gang (minus Marshall) is gathered. Zoey assures Ted her cousin's cute, which Barney says means fat. Zoey says she's not fat, which Barney says means ugly. Then she walks in, and it's Katy Perry. Barney takes it all back, because she's so attractive. Saget!Ted tells us that he doesn't remember this girl's name (so, going out on a limb here: not the mother?), because over the years they've just referred to her as "Honey." Which is how Katy Perry cutely introduces herself to Ted. Here's why they call her "Honey." Robin explains it to Minnesota Marshall. She's sweet, lovely, but gullible, so every word out of her mouth makes you want to be all sympathetic: "Oh, honey."
Examples: Katy Perry tells the gang that her apartment is, like, totally safe because the landlord installed a security cam in the shower! "Oh, honey." She gave her Social Security number to a Nigerian prince. "Oh, honey." She had a TV audition behind KFC, where a producer works on weekends. "Oh, honey." She's going to be on Lost! "Oh, honey." Robin says she needs to be protected from the wolves. Speaking of... Back at MacLaren's, Barney's practically licking his lips like the biggest, baddest as he growl-whispers, "Oh, honey." That night, everyone went home except Ted and Honey (who was flirting with Ted) ... and Barney. Barney pulls Ted aside and asks him what they'll do since Honey's totally vibing on Barney. He reminds him of how she was touching Ted, but her straw was pointed toward Barney. Which is an obvious sign, duh. Ted gives Honey to Barney with an, "I'd tell you to hump her brains out, but someone obviously already has."