How I Met Your Mother

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Dumb and Hot

Saget!Ted tells us that Marshall stayed in Minnesota to take care of his mother after his dad's death, and the longer he stayed the more he went back to being Minnesota Marshall. For instance, he answers the phone with "Eriksen residence. Marshall speaking." Robin, on the other end, laughs and makes fun of him for being such a polite Minnesotan again. He asks her what's up in New York, and she says there is this one thing... about Ted and Zoey. Saget!Ted backs us up to his history with Zoey: Arcadian, protests, the Captain, friendship. Which, Saget!Ted says, brings us to the night Aunt Robin decided to cook dinner. Close-up of charred food on the table (why put it on the table once it's burned like that?). It's December 2010. The gang's all in the kitchen, including Marshall. And Zoey. Robin thought the oven was Celsius. Ted says it's okay, since they have hot dogs. Lily takes a page from Friends and heads to the bathroom to eat hers. Barney just hopes he can pass his. Zoey and Ted, meanwhile, drop the ketchup and flirt over who's going to go out and get a new bottle. She offers to set him up with her hot cousin, and he volunteers to get it. Ba ba ba ba ba da da-da-da-da DA.

Robin continues telling Marshall what's what: After that night, no one heard from Zoey for a while, until Ted called her and wondered if they'd ever see her again because they miss her. And, also, HOT COUSIN promise. She apparently agrees, because we cut to MacLaren's, where the gang (minus Marshall) is gathered. Zoey assures Ted her cousin's cute, which Barney says means fat. Zoey says she's not fat, which Barney says means ugly. Then she walks in, and it's Katy Perry. Barney takes it all back, because she's so attractive. Saget!Ted tells us that he doesn't remember this girl's name (so, going out on a limb here: not the mother?), because over the years they've just referred to her as "Honey." Which is how Katy Perry cutely introduces herself to Ted. Here's why they call her "Honey." Robin explains it to Minnesota Marshall. She's sweet, lovely, but gullible, so every word out of her mouth makes you want to be all sympathetic: "Oh, honey."

Examples: Katy Perry tells the gang that her apartment is, like, totally safe because the landlord installed a security cam in the shower! "Oh, honey." She gave her Social Security number to a Nigerian prince. "Oh, honey." She had a TV audition behind KFC, where a producer works on weekends. "Oh, honey." She's going to be on Lost! "Oh, honey." Robin says she needs to be protected from the wolves. Speaking of... Back at MacLaren's, Barney's practically licking his lips like the biggest, baddest as he growl-whispers, "Oh, honey." That night, everyone went home except Ted and Honey (who was flirting with Ted) ... and Barney. Barney pulls Ted aside and asks him what they'll do since Honey's totally vibing on Barney. He reminds him of how she was touching Ted, but her straw was pointed toward Barney. Which is an obvious sign, duh. Ted gives Honey to Barney with an, "I'd tell you to hump her brains out, but someone obviously already has."

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How I Met Your Mother

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