Marshall starts apologizing to Robin about Lily, but Robin's like, "Yeah, uh, I told Zoey you hate her." Marshall wonders why he was dragged into this, and Robin says he just went through a tragedy, so it's not like she's going to call him up. Cue the call waiting, and it's a 917 number he doesn't recognize. She tells him not to answer it, but he says he can't not; it's impolite. They talk over each other as she tries to convince him to ignore it. He's like, "I can't turn my back on politeness. Good manners are what separate us from elbows-on-the-table Wisconsin." They end in screaming, as he cuts over and answers it: "Eriksen residence. Marshall speaking." It's Honey, who tells him she spent the night with Barney, who accidentally left his phone in her apartment, in the garbage. She says she's going through his contacts, because she's sure he wants to get in touch since he told her she was his first. "Oh, honey." Marshall realizes who he's talking to, and is like, "Zoey's cousin?" She fills him in on her night with Barney, in which he cries and cries about not having a father and how he wants to meet him, but his dad hasn't called even though he gave him his number. Awww. Barney. You got rid of your number and are using disposables. Ever think of that? She "Oh, honey"s him a whole lot to comfort him.
Marshall changes the subject to ask if Honey has any idea what's going on with Zoey. She does know, but she says the only people who can know are Honey, Zoey, and Zoey's therapist. Marshall says he's Zoey's therapist, so Honey's all, "Oh! In that case." Then we cut to Marshall and can't hear Honey's end of the call. He cuts her off abruptly and calls for his mom and Marcus. Back in the real world, which I guess is real time while Marshall's hollering for his mom and brother, Zoey shows up at Ted's and asks what's really going on. He says Lily hates her, but she says she thinks he hates her, but is too chicken to come out and say it. He looks sad, and says, "Yes. I... hate you." She cries and asks him if that was so hard, then stomps off." He runs after her and she says she just wants to know why. Back at Marshall's, his mom and Marcus are helping him look at what looks like a crime wall on a crime show, but it's all about Ted, Zoey, Honey, Barney, and the Captain. And it's all made up of Clue cards. Marshall says Ted and Zoey's love would be fine if not for Colonel Mustard. Er, the Captain. But now, as Honey's informed Marshall... Cut to Zoey taking the call from Ted about setting him up with the hot cousin. She's in an empty apartment, which she's just told the landlord she'll take. Marshall cuts the string between Zoey and the Captain and says they're getting divorced. "Which means...?" Marcus cuts in and says that if Marshall doesn't call those two crazy, mixed-up kids, he will. Marshall grabs the phone.