During the (actual) Super Bowl, Neil Patrick Harris did a promo shot for the show and network, in character, as Barney Stinson. He held up a sign that read:

HEY LADIES
CALL
BARNEY
STINSON
1-887-987-6401

I didn't call it (because I was finishing up the Lost recaps, otherwise I so would have) but people who did heard the following:

That, Lebron, is how you shoot a free throw. Hey, Barney Stinson speaking. A recording? No. This is really me. Anyway, glad you called, because you sound really special... What are your hobbies... Oh my God, I like that too! Wow! I'm really feeling a connection, here. You know, I never do this, but what the heck? Let's meet up at MacLaren's Bar at [Various times in 2016]. I can't wait to meet you. I love you.

Silly rabbit. So anyhow, "Rabbit or Duck" opens with the rest of the gang at Ted's place, watching the Super Bowl. On his TV, we see a shot of Barney holding the same sort of sign, except the colors and phone number are different (1-917-555-0199). At MacLaren's, Barney declares himself the winner of the Super Bowl, because his phone hasn't stopped ringing ("Turkey in the Straw" is his ringtone) since. Ranjit (RANJIT!) is there. Barney explains: "I've enlisted Ranjit's services as my personal driver because, for the next week, I'll be sleeping with hundreds of women, and I don't want to take the subway because -- you know... germs." And that, kids, is when your Uncle Barney became dead to me. All right; I'm exaggerating. But for the rest of the episode, he is flat, lifeless, and a mockery of even his (already mockable) self. Watching, I felt equal parts repulsion and... yes, I'll say it -- PITY. Why, oh, why make him into this one-note joke -- when the lovely and talented NPH is so, well... lovely and talented. The problem is, the ringing phone keeps tempting Barney away. Suffering succotash. I'll get back to this.

Anyhow, after listening to Ranjit talk about his successful arranged marriage, Ted, (who is calling himself "Teddy Westside" -- which Marshall loves) decides he wants Marshall and Lily to arrange a marriage for him. Whereas he sucks at picking, they're the best pickers he knows -- because they picked each other. Aw. To me, it sounds like his conversation with them is Ted taking our mother-related complaints to the writers, which I'll hit in the weecap. The thing is, Lily and Marshall agree to set up a double date with Ted and their pick, for Valentine's Day, and then promptly forget. So at the last minute (in a well-done scene) they scramble for women and end up choosing one of Barney's (very flexible) cast-offs, who's in search of a marriage visa. Yes, because after all this, Ted should spend his life with a Barney cast-off who would marry anyone. My eyes rolled out of my head and so far across the floor, that I didn't bother looking for them until this morning.

Meanwhile, Ted, Marshall and Lily are trying to convince Robin that her co-worker Don is a duck (and yes, there's a pantless Donald Duck reference). The gang has this whole big argument (which is splendid) about whether rabbits or ducks are better (Marshall says rabbits are, but everyone else prefers ducks; Marshall finally concedes). But when Robin goes to Don's Valentine's Day Party, she finds not a party, but rather Don, all by his lonesome, trying to pull off The Naked Man (er... technique -- there are no other men present once Ted leaves). At that moment, Don turns into a rabbit. But later, at work, when he apologizes and she sees he's wearing pants, his bunny ears disappear and he grows a duck bill. You think I'm making this up, don't you?

Back to the phone, Barney's more like a man chasing the dragon than either ducks or rabbits, so Lily hides the phone on him. The thing is, Ted finds it, morphs into "Teddy Westside" full-time, and soon, he can't get the monkey off his back -- until Lily slays it, or the dragon, duck, bunny, or possibly Bambi.

I loved parts of this episode, but hated others. It's the Barney stuff -- and the problem (for me) is that his sleaze is no longer an accent flavor, but the main ingredient. There's too much of him being one-dimensional. It's a waste of the actor, character and the show.

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