How I Met Your Mother

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Ducking Wabbits

We flash back to Lily and Marshall sitting in MacLaren's reviewing a list of Ted's exes: Trudy -- married; Blah Blah -- committed (not to someone; in Bellevue); Natalie -- hates Ted." Just then YKW comes in and slams the phone down in front of Lily and Marshall, begging them to get rid of it. He says it's cursed -- maybe that explains the nearly offensive levels of over-acting, here. YKW screams: "It ruining my life!" I scream back, "You're ruining other people's story lines now, too. Go back in the dumpster and finish your time out." Ahhhh, blessed Ranjit -- who is now wearing his hand-knit hat, scarf, and hand-warmers, grabs YKW by the shoulders. "[YKW] let it go... to voice mail." He scoops YKW up like a little baby and carries him out of the bar and off my screen. I hope he gets a big tip. Let's start an untainted paragraph, shall we?

Marshall, who must be speaking for the writers here, says, "We've got to find Ted a wife. We're being too choosy. It almost doesn't matter who it is, at this point." You've got that right, brother. Lily nods in agreement, and then they both look down at YKW's ringing phone and raise their eyebrows. Cut back to...

Manhattan Street: Ted: "It's a phone girl?" Marshall knows how that sounds but says he and Lily met this girl, who is a world class violinist; she's a gourmet cook, and... she can quote every line from Caddy Shack." Ted looks like a kid in a candy store. Gone are his second thoughts. I don't care -- she's still a Barney cast-off, and this is Marshall and Lily doing the picking. No way.

Restaurant; Interior: The gentlemen join the ladies. Ted's date is named Natalia, which confusing, since they just mentioned Natalie a few minutes ago. Whatever -- we know her as Double-Joints! "Hello, Ted. What brings you to this nape of the woods... neck of the wape...what are you here?" Ted is... intrigued. Really? [He's easy, a Caddyshack introduction is all it took. -- Angel] Saget!Ted narrates that they all had dinner, which is a lie, because they're sitting there with their menus open, talking. Marshall insists Natalia tell Ted "the problem." Lily nods eagerly in agreement. Natalia explains that she has to leave the U.S. soon, because her visa is set to expire. Lily points to her (own) ring finger and quickly whispers: "She needs to get married." Marshall joins in: "Federal law expressly dictates that a foreign national can't maintain residency for more than six months without a work visa." Heh. Lily nudges him to shut up. But then, the waiter comes to take their orders. He looks to Ted. "And you, sir -- the rabbit, or the duck?" Ted says, "What?" The waiter explains that it's a prix fixe menu for Valentine's day, and they're already out of the other main course options. "So... rabbit or duck?" Ted looks from his friends to his date to his lap. "Rabbit." He then says, "Sorry guys," jumps up, and adds, "I gotta go." Marshall wonders why Ted would order rabbit if he was just going to run out. I wonder how Saget!Ted can refer to that as them "all" having dinner together. But we've no time for that now. YKW runs into the restaurant, over-dramatizing his need to get back the phone. He pauses long enough to see the pretty woman at the table with his friends. "Well, hello." Then he realizes it's Double-Joints and waves his hand at her, dismissively. "Oh. I met you already." HATE. After he emotes some more, Lily tells him the phone is hidden. Saget!Ted explains that to answer that question, we must flash back to...

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How I Met Your Mother

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