Stella's office. Ted has arrived with an appetizer: a plastic container filled with potato skins. He does a long routine about how they're so great, but he's trying them for the first time in a while. Oh no, they don't live up to the memory. Despite their size and performance. Stella figures out what he's doing. She asks if Ted has a size issue. He says no. "Quick on the draw?" she asks. No. "Unexpected number of testicles?" she asks. Ted explains that he knows this is a big deal. He calls it Virginity: The Sequel. "Virginity 2: Electric Boogaloo?" she asks. All right, that joke was funny when we first started using it about 15 years ago. Ted says he doesn't want to mess it up. Stella tells him to stop worrying. They kiss. Ted asks about the testicle thing. She says she knew a guy in medical school who was "One ball away from getting walked." They didn't call him "Tripod?"
MacLaren's. Randy, wearing a suit that makes him look like an insurance salesman, comes to meet Barney in the traditional friends booth. "What up, Bro-seph Leiberman?" Randy asks. Barney tells him it's not cool to use "Bro" in regards to a failed Democratic vice-presidential candidate. Randy decides not to use "Geraldine Ferrar-Bro." Barney decides to make Randy his next masterpiece. He says when he first met Ted, he was a total loser. Barney wants to make Randy the greatest wingman in wingman history. Randy says it won't be that hard: he's been reading Barney's blog for years and Barney is like a god to him. He says tonight is going to be, "Legendary, wait for it... dary!" Groan. Barney spots two hot girls at the bar. He asks if Randy is ready. Randy is ready. As Barney moves to the bar, Randy grabs him and goes, "No, no, no, no!" He's nervous. It happens a second time. Randy tries to give himself a little pep talk. Barney finally goes to the bar and says, "Haaaaave you met..." He turns and Randy is hiding under the booth, looking up, terrified. Hee.