How I Met Your Mother

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Omar G: B+ | Grade It Now!
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After the Bro-keup

The Year 2030. It's only been three seasons, but already SagetTed's daughter has to take a deep, shoulder-raising sigh and his son has to lean over with one elbow on the couch to prop up his sleepy head. Your stories are getting boring, SagetTed! Your children are beginning to resent you! Anyhoo, SagetTed says that the spring of 2008 was a complicated time in his life. Quick flash to last week's Bro-keup, when Ted told Barney he no longer wanted to be friends. Side-whoosh to MacLaren's, where the gang (minus Barney) is sitting at the usual booth. Ted's phone rings. Ted unhappily tells everyone else that it's Barney. He answers reluctantly. "Dude. Seriously, you need to stop calling me," he says. We cut to Barney, leaning back in his office chair. The awesome "Awesomeness" motivational poster is right behind him. Barney says he's sorry he hasn't returned Ted's calls. Ted says he hasn't called. In fact, Barney has called him 15 times. He's called Ted's parents twice. Barney says he's sorry, but he has to let Ted go. "There's just too many good wingmen out there," he says. Dammit! And I had to go and get married four years ago! STUPID, STUPID OMAR! Ted says nothing. Barney asks if he's crying. "No, I'm not," Ted says. Barney tells him to let it out. Ted says goodbye and hangs up the phone. Lily asks if they're back together. "No," Ted says. Lily's smile drops. Marshall admits that he misses Barney. He says he hasn't high-fived anyone in a week and may be losing his fist-bump callus. Robin asks the question that everybody on the forum was asking last week: why is Ted so much more mad at Barney than at her? Lily says that Robin had just as much sex with Barney as he had with her. Robin says that may not be entirely true. Because Barney's a freak-a-deek in the bedroom. Robin says she'd prefer it if Ted was mad at her because this is too weird. Ted says he's not mad at anyone. He says he forgave Robin and has just outgrown Barney as a friend. Lily says Ted's not mad because he's so happy with Stella.

SagetTed says that Lily was right. Side-whoosh to a montage of happy moments. Ted and Stella (I love you, Sarah Chalke!) are watching a movie on the apartment couch, snuggling. Ted and Stella are in her office, eating lunch together. At MacLaren's, she's throwing food into Marshall's mouth and chest-bumping with Lily. Ted says that she had passed the friends test with flying colors. There was just one small problem... in the apartment, Lily exclaims, "You guys haven't had sex yet!?" Ted is with Marshall and Lily. Lily says that two months into their relationship, she and Marshall were doing it 24/7. Ted knows. He was in the top bunk. "I also sat next to you guys at football games," he says. Lily asks what they're waiting for. Ted says he thinks Stella just wants to take things slow. He also hasn't met her daughter yet. Marshall figures out that Ted hasn't had sex since around Thanksgiving. Because of the Writers' strike? Marshall asks if Ted is aware how many big federal holidays have passed since then. Lily asks if Marshall remembers MLK Day. Apparently they honored him, "Big time," Marshall says. Ted says he's fine with waiting. On an unrelated note, he asks if they have any gum, ice or bark they're not chewing.

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How I Met Your Mother

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