Marshall figures that Barney hits on about 20 girls a week. Barney says it's probably more. For the sake of argument (and charts; I love charts) Marshall sticks to 20. "So, 20 girls a week means 1,040 girls a year. In Barney's 16 years of sexual activity, that means he's hit on 16,640 girls. Now, if he's bedded 199 of them, that is a success rate of..." Marshall switches to a second chart -- this one's a pie chart. The pie is bright red and bears the label FAILURE. Marshall continues: "A little over one percent. That's a batting average of .012, eight times worse than the career batting average of one-handed pitcher -- that's right, pitcher -- Jim Abbott." He flips to the next chart which is just a picture of Abbot, giving his batting average as .095. I love that the emphasis is on the fact that Abbott is a pitcher, and not one-handed. Now, people in the forums have arguing whether or not having had 200 partners makes someone a "sex addict" or if it's all "that many." But they've also been nitpicking Marshall's statement concerning Barney's 16 years of "sexual activity." We know that Barney had sex for the first time at age 23. So that would make Barney 39 and he should be more like 33 or so. I'm hand-waving it thusly -- unless Barney is older than we've thought, Marshall was either lumping all romantic displays of affection under the "sexual activity label" or he forgot how old Barney was when he first had sex and was just guess-timating. I don't think we have to look at it as a continuity error, but you know -- whatever gets you through the night. Anyhow, Barney points to Ted and says, "Jealous." He points to Marshall and says, "Jealous." He points to the picture of Abbott and says, "Hero." He points to Robin and says, "Suspiciously quiet during this conversation about number of sex partners." And he finishes by pointing to himself and saying, "Hero." To Barney, it's the grand total that matters. When Ted says, "Says who?" Barney says, "Matthew Panning, the stud of Port Richmond Middle School," and we flash back to...

Port Richmond Middle School: Panning and a bunch of other boys are picking on Barney. None of them look older than 12 or 13. Panning bets Barney has never "done it with a girl." Young Barney says, "Neither have you." Panning proclaims he's had sex 100 times. I will not be making any cracks about this scene, because they're kids and that's just creepy. Panning says the girls he's been with are all seventh graders at his cousin's school in Long Island, because boys are always claiming they've done it with some poor out-of-town girl that doesn't even exist, see. Young Barney says, "Well, you know what, Matthew? Someday, I'm gonna do it with 200." Matthew laughs, tells Barney to call him when that happens, then shoves his books onto the floor. Oh, school days, school days.