How I Met Your Mother

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
Gong Show...

Ted brings Will Shortz over to his friends, rambling excitedly that Shortz has confirmed crossword puzzles always use Ulee's Gold as an answer, because of the vowels. This has been mentioned on the show before, but I cannot be arsed to find the link. Ted's friends sneer at everything that makes Ted -- Ted, and they express their disdain by making fart noises every time he talks about things that interest him. I suddenly dislike these people, intensely. I don't think that's how I'm supposed to feel, but it's the result. I mean, where are the fart noises every other week when Barney talks about his dick? At any rate, the gang tells Ted it's time to go, but then Marissa trots up to tell him they'll be blind taste-testing French wines in a few. "It'll be a hoot and a half." Ted: "Well, I decant miss that." After she laughs and goes off to mingle some more, Ted confesses that you don't decant white wine. I don't even know why I'm bothering to tell you any of this. Anyhow, Ted decides to remain at the party, while Marshall, Lily and Barney continue on to the match.

Once at the match, Barney spends the entire night worrying that everything is changing too much, and everyone's going to leave him. Yes Barn, but the syphilis will have hit your brain by then, so you won't mind so much. Anyhow, Lily and Marshall's "When will we have a baby" discussion doesn't help matters. Barney makes a threat, complete with obscene motion, about what he'll do to any daughter they might have the minutes she turns 18. And kids? While I wonder how your father met your mother, the biggest mystery to me right now is why he considers these people his friends. I think I used to know, but Barney's pelvic thrust pushed it right out of my brain. Fart noise brought to you by Smell-o-Vision.

Anyhow, things look up for the asshats, once the robot rips off the human wrestler's mask to reveal he looks just like Ted, but "Mexican." My niece is "Mexican" (that is, she is an American of British Isles mutt descent on our side of the family and Spanish and Mexican descent on the other). She looks nothing like either Ted. So tell me, what do Mexicans look like, Show? On second thought, don't. The downsized gang is overjoyed to have found another doppelganger. If you'll recall, they had previously found doppelgangers of Robin (a "lesbian" -- you can tell by the way she dresses, don't you know), Marshall (Mustache Marshall -- another Latino) and Lily (a stripper). No, I'm not linking. Fart noise.

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How I Met Your Mother




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