Next, we're treated to a series of pasty-faced, mouth agape, pictures of an ever-blinking Marshall. I sympathize, my brother. Marshall says not all his photos are like that. He flips through the new shots on Lily's camera. "Here, look at this one. My eyes are open." Ted and Barney recoil in disgust. Ted covers his eyes. "Oh no!" Barney backs up. "You did put a bow on it."
Just then, Robin offers Barney some tortilla chips and salsa (which she calls chips and dip, which I guess is okay, but I feel like being specific, because there's a chewing issue and well...I'll just get to it). As he's loading the chip into his mouth, she snaps a photo of him. "Aha! Got it. A bad picture." Barney, mouth still full, says, "Is it, though?" We cut to the photo. Barney's all 007. Robin can't believe it. "No, wait. You were eating a chip. Where's the chip?!" Barney finishes chewing. "It is physically impossible for me to take a bad picture." He shrugs. "I don't know why. Ask God." He kisses two fingers and raises them heavenward. God laughs and says, "This is going to be legend...wait for it..."
Back on the couch, Ted says he's sorry about Amanda, but tells Lily she's being a Birthday Brat. Lily gasps and Marshall covers his mouth in horror, as Ted continues. "You're all bent out of shape just because you think I ruined a couple of pictures." Lily says, "Oh...Ted. These girls have ruined so very many events, or are you forgetting Paris?"
Junior year of college, Lily did a semester abroad, in Paris. Lily says she hadn't seen Marshall for two months. Marshall: "Two months. And I had just started having sex. I wasn't ready to stop for two months." Marshall went to visit over Spring break, and at the last minute Ted decided to join him, and brought Karen, Duchess of Douchay (Laura Prepon) along with him. We flashback to the plane, where Karen and Ted are acting all schmoopy -- at least until Karen tells him she just slept with her Philosophy professor the night before. They spend the trans-Atlantic flight fighting, making out, and crying. Finally, poor Marshall has to sit between them. We cut to the...
Airport: Perky demi-Goth Lilypad is waiting with her "Bienvenue, Marshmallow," sign and a giddy smile. Before Marshall can take her in his arms, Karen inserts herself between the two young lovers. "Ted broke up with me. I need to sleep in your room this week. Marshall can bunk with Ted." Lily and Marshall look at each other sadly, and once Karen leads Lily away, Marshall glares at Ted.