DOWISETREPLA: All these years later, Marshall still hasn't gotten over it. "Two months. My balls were bleu. Bleu! Lily says that the rest of the trip was terrible, too. We see unhappy photos of the proto-gang in front of the Arc de Triomphe; outside the Louvre; at a sidewalk café (Karen's actually smiling in that one, as is one other subject -- the waiter, François, who is flirting with her); and in front of Notre Dame Cathedral. Lily tells Robin that all she wanted was a romantic kiss picture in front of the Eiffel Tower. And she got it all right. In the shot, Ted, Lily and Marshall look miserable, but Karen and François are lost in their lip lock.
As Robin commiserates with Lily, she very obviously "drops" her phone on the floor at Barney's feet and asks him to pick it up. When he bends down, she says, "Smile, you son of a bitch! Got it." Barney stands. "Did you, though?" Robin reviews the photo. In it, Barney is still at his James Bond best. Robin says, "How'd you do that? You weren't even standing up?" Barney says, "The camera loves me, Robin. More than loves me -- the camera lusts after me." Oh boy, is that a telling (if expected) look into Barney's psyche. "The camera wants to put on some nice lingerie, pop in an Al Green CD, dim the lights and do all the work, while I just lie there with my eyes closed." He winks at her and clicks his tongue.
Ted apologizes about Paris and all the ruined photo-ops, but says that when you're single, you have to hope that each new girl is the one. "I've got to stay hopeful. I mean, what's the alternative?" Lily tells him: "How about no more random skanks at my birthday?" Of course Amanda picks that moment to exit the kitchen to ask where she can find a cooling rack, but she seems not to have heard her hostess with the leastess, who manages to fake up enough grace to call Amanda sweetie, answer her question, and say, "You're just the best."
Robin, who seems to have learned her lesson after bringing Old Man Bob to Slapsgiving, sides with Lily and explains she didn't bring Don tonight because events such as these are hard for a new person. Robin tells the gang that when she was living in Japan, a guy brought her to his brother's wedding -- on their third date. We cut the picture of a seemingly gigantic Robin slouching awkwardly as she poses with the more petite Japanese bridal party. "I, a total stranger, am in that Japanese couple's wedding picture for all eternity." Hee. Until we were engaged, every time I was included in a family group shot at one of my now-husband's relative's weddings, I felt so out of place. We cut to Japan, where the Japanese bride and groom are looking at their wedding album with the groom's brother. The bride taps on a photo with force as she addresses her brother-in-law. The subtitles read: Name that bitch! Robin's ex: "Uh...."