How I Met Your Mother

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 1 USERS: A+
Who's Holding Your Peace?

The morning of his wedding, Ted makes the trip to get Lucy from Tony's house. The Daily Show's fabulous Jason Jones plays Tony, who comes out of his apartment wearing a gi, with a black belt that looks like it used to be longer. When Ted asks if Tony's doing a little Karate and fakes some moves, Tony takes him to the floor, and then apologizes, explaining that Ted just set off his internal defense alarm. Tony goes on about how he thought Ted would be off on a honeymoon with "my woman" and talks about Ted "sticking it" to the mother of "my" child. Everything Tony says reinforces the idea that he's not over Stella and that he's a giant tool. It's sort of disappointing that Stella sees anything in him... I mean, did ever see anything in him. Not that she sees anything in him now, because he's completely out of her life, except for the part where he apparently has joint custody of or visitation rights with Lucy, and Ted knows his name, and where he lives. Cough. It turns out Tony is feeling lonely and left-out and like he's going to lose Lucy to this new family of which he's not a part. When Ted realizes Tony feels badly that he wasn't invited to the wedding, he remedies that. Oh, sitcoms. We see Lucy and her two daddies driving to the ferry, riding the ferry, and driving to the Collective. This will not end well.

At the Collective, Nora approaches Barney, reminds him today's the day and asks him if he's hydrating. Barney blurts out what must be a prepared speech. "Dear female, thank you for your interest in Barney Stinson." Nora interrupts, to run her fingernails down the front of his shirt and says, "Your back is going to look like a Jackson Pollock." Barney stifles a moan and continues his speech: "I regret to inform you that at this time..." Nora says, "I was a vegan for two years. I need meat." Sorry, Mum. Barney keeps going. "There are currently no positions available." Nora leans in. "I'm a yoga instructor. Every position is available. Your room. 20 minutes. No foreplay." She leaves Barney gasping and gnashing his teeth. Barney says, "I'm not going to make it, am I?" to Lily, who just happens to be passing by. She laughs. "Not a chance." Barney groans and stomps off.

Lucy leads Ted and Tony into the Collective. Ted asks Tony to let him talk to Stella first. Lucy sees Stella and runs to her. "Mommy! Mommy! Ted invited Daddy!" Look it's the wicked step-child! Stella looks like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights as she catches sight of Tony. She quickly turns her attention to Lucy, kisses her, and tells her she missed her, then asks for a second. She says hey to Tony and takes Ted aside. "You invited Tony? To our wedding? Ted, we talked about this. No exes at our wedding." Ever notice how whenever Stella refers to a prior agreement between her and Ted, it always turns out they've agreed to do things her way? I'm just saying. Stella continues: "Why would you do this?" She's terribly upset -- almost in tears. We hear a woman's voice. "Oh-ho boy. What did Ted do this time?" It's Robin. Robin you're back! You're back and you're wearing argyle? Time to do some more shopping at Lily's Closet. From the looks of the outfit she's chosen for Ted's freaking wedding, she's no longer so attached to nice things. Stella tries to control her reaction as she instinctively takes a step back.

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How I Met Your Mother




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